[SOC] KOSHER COMPUTERS

[Neal Enault]

Yeah, I bought one, and the power cord had the plug cut off.

Neal WA6OCP

--- "Reicher, James" <JReicher at hrblock.com> wrote:
> 
> I don't know if you know this, but you can now purchase kosher
> computers! They are made in Israel by a company called DELL-SHALOM.
> The
> price is great, even with the shipping from Israel. I've been using
> one
> now for several weeks and highly recommend it. However, before you
> purchase a kosher computer of your own, you should know that there
> are
> some important differences from the typical non-kosher computer you
> are
> used to. These include: 
> 
> 1) The "Start" button has been replaced with the "Let's go!! I'm not
> getting any younger!" button. 
> 2) I hear "Hava Nagila" during startup. 
> 
> 3) The cursor moves from right to left. 
> 
> 4) When Spellchecker finds an error it prompts, "Is this the best you
> can do?" 
> 
> 5) When I look at erotic images, my computer says, "If your mother
> knew
> you did this, she would die." 
> 
> 6) It comes with a "monitor cleaning solution" from Manischewitz that
> advertises it gets rid of all the "schmutz und dreck." 
> 
> 7) When running "Scan Disk" it prompts with me with a "You want I
> should
> fix this?" message. 
> 
> 8) After 20 minutes of no activity, my PC goes "Schloffen". 
> 
> 9) The PC shuts down automatically at sundown on Friday. 
> 
> 10) It comes with two hard drives -- one for fleyshedik (business
> software, aka "meat"), and one for milchedik (games -- "dairy"). 
> 
> 11) Instead of getting a "General Protection Fault" error, my PC now
> gets "Ferklempt". 
> 
> 12) The multimedia player has been renamed, "Nu, so play my music
> already!" 
> 
> 13) Internet Explorer has a spinning "Star of David" in the upper
> right
> corner. 
> 
> 14) When my PC is working too hard, I occasionally hear a loud "Oy
> Vey!"
> 
> 
> 15) Computer viruses can now be cured with matzo ball soup. 
> 
> 16) When disconnecting external devices from the back of my PC, I am
> instructed to "Remove the cable from the PC's tuchis." 
> 
> 17) After my computer dies, I have to dispose of it within 24 hours. 
> 
> 18) Every year at Yom Kippur, the computer automatically reformats
> the
> hard drive.
> 
> 19) It automatically shuts off before Shabbos and reboots itself
> (kick
> in hinten) after havdalah. 
> 
> 20) Short Cut is really the web site of the local moyel where he does
> his job in your home on your desk top. 
> 
> 21) But best of all, if you have a kosher computer, you can't get
> Spam!
> 
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