[OKDXA] Something Completely Different

[Nelson Derks]

For those of you who missed Gen'l Dave at the Choctaw ARC SwapMeet, here's a
transcript of his remarks as taken from the third row....

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MRS. BIG NOSE: Don't pick your nose.

MR. BIG NOSE: I wasn't picking my nose. I was scratching.

MRS. BIG NOSE: You was picking it, while you was talking to that lady.

MR. BIG NOSE: I wasn't!

MRS. BIG NOSE: Leave it alone. Give it a rest.

MR. CHEEKY: Do you mind? I can't hear a word he's saying.

MRS. BIG NOSE: Don't you 'do you mind' me. I was talking to my husband.

MR. CHEEKY: Well, go and talk to him somewhere else. I can't hear a bloody
thing.

MR. BIG NOSE: Don't you swear at my wife.

MR. CHEEKY: I was only asking her to shut up, so I can hear what he's
saying, Big Nose.

MRS. BIG NOSE: Don't you call my husband 'Big Nose'!

MR. CHEEKY: Well, he has got a big nose.

GREGORY: Could you be quiet, please?

W5ATV: They shall have the earth...

GREGORY: What was that?

W5ATV: ...for their possession. How blest are those...

MR. CHEEKY: I don't know. I was too busy talking to Big Nose.

W5ATV: ...who hunger and thirst to see...

MAN #1: I think it was 'Blessed are the cheesemakers.'

W5ATV: ...right prevail.

MRS. GREGORY: Ahh, what's so special about the cheesemakers?

GREGORY: Well, obviously, this is not meant to be taken literally. It refers
to any manufacturers of dairy products.

MR. CHEEKY: See? If you hadn't been going on, we'd have heard that, Big
Nose.

W5ATV: How blest are those who...

MR. BIG NOSE: Hey. Say that once more; I'll smash your bloody face in.

MRS. GREGORY: Ohh.

MR. CHEEKY: Better keep listening. Might be a bit about 'Blessed are the big
noses.'

BRIAN: Oh, lay off him.

MR. CHEEKY: Oh, you're not so bad yourself, Conkface. Where are you two
from? Nose City?

MR. BIG NOSE: One more time, mate; I'll take you to the f---in' cleaners!

MRS. BIG NOSE: Language!

W5ATV: ...hunger and thirst to see...

MRS. BIG NOSE: And don't pick your nose.

W5ATV: ...right prevail.

MR. BIG NOSE: I wasn't going to pick my nose. I was going to thump him!

MAN #2: You hear that? Blessed are the Greek.

GREGORY: The Greek?

MAN #2: Mmm. Well, apparently, he's going to inherit the earth.

GREGORY: Did anyone catch his name?

MRS. BIG NOSE: You're not going to thump anybody.

MR. BIG NOSE: I'll thump him if he calls me 'Big Nose' again.

MR. CHEEKY: Oh, shut up, Big Nose.

MR. BIG NOSE: Ah! All right. I warned you. I really will slug you so hard--

MRS. BIG NOSE: Oh, it's the meek! Blessed are the meek! Oh, that's nice,
isn't it? I'm glad they're getting something, 'cause they have a hell of a
time.

MR. CHEEKY: Listen. I'm only telling the truth. You have got a very big
nose.

MR. BIG NOSE: Hey. Your nose is going to be three foot wide across your face
by the time I've finished with you!

MAN #1 and MAN #2: Shhh.

MR. CHEEKY: Well, who hit yours, then? Goliath's big brother?

MR. BIG NOSE: Oh. Right. That's your last warning.

MRS. GREGORY: Oh, do pipe down.