[TheForge] an open reply to several private questions

[terry l. ridder]

hello;

i have received several private e-mails asking me if only disabled
people were going to be able to use the facilities that i am in the
process of building and if everyone on the ships' crews is disabled.

i wish there was an easy answer to theses questions but there are not.
many factors come into play in the interpersonal relationships and the
interaction between everyone involved in a project. currently everyone
involved in just the building of the environment are disabled in some
way. many are military veterans. many up until the legal nightmares
settled were home bound and unemployed. they did not have the financial
resources nor the real estate to have a shop where they could go to keep
their minds and body active. they read books, watched cable channels,
surfed the internet day in and day out. we all got to know one another
while waiting to see the doctors at edward hines jr. veterans hospital
or while volunteering at the salvation army food pantry. we all had one
thing in common, we were all disabled and wanting more out of life than
to sit in the arm chair waiting to die. many of us were in the same
group session with the social worker from the hines mental health unit.
many of these people would visit me while in the hospital recoverying
from the head-on-collision and challenged me into pushing myself to
work at walking again. several were in the mental health sessions
concerning my desire not to ever drive or ride in a motor vehicle ever
again. we have all helped one another work through major issues in our
personal lifes. this has built a strong comradeship, respect, and trust.

it is against this backdrop that new people come and feel like an
outsider and unwelcomed. everyone is working on this and we are all well
aware of how we felt when we would attempt to join in a group or
activity before we all met one another. i would say that the most people
who are not disabled express that they feel extremely uncomfortable
around so many disabled people. they do not know how to interact with
the disabled person and they do not understand that humor that surfaces
in the group. i will readily admit that some of humor is on the dark
side. there is the person who when asked to lend a hand throws his
prosthesis hand at the person asking for help. there is the person who
lost his left arm in a work accident and whose nickname is now 'lefty'.
there is mike, who has the bad habit of turning of his hearing aids and
ignores everyone equally.

i could continue on but i think that for now this is the best short
answer that i am able to provide. we are all trying to find our path
through the maze of life with the hand that we were dealt. we are not
asking for pity or even sympathy we are asking for understanding and
acceptance.

-- 
terry l. ridder ><>