[SOC] Achievement Awards

[David (G3ZPF)]

What a coincidence Bob. I have just carried out a similar experiment to 
the 'mains noise' one. With everyone furlowed at home in the UK I 
wondered if we would run out of electricity.

I decided to start stockpiling electrons. I didn't want to alert others 
before I'd hoarded enough of them, and there is no room left in my 
double-garage for batteries, thanks to the mountain of toilet rolls and 
hand sanitiser that I already have.

I hit on the idea of a massive leclanche cell. The disused septic tank 
in my back garden is made from aluminium (that is the UK version of 
USA's alooomynum) so if I set fire to a telegraph pole to get a carbon 
anode, all I needed was a few hundred gallons of ammonium chloride.

Well, that last part took a while, and the local 'curtain twitchers' 
were intrigued when the tanker arrived. I quickly covered up the large 
'HazChem' logo to avoid any hysteria and pumped it all into the waiting 
septic tank.

I used lengths of steel scaffold poles to form connections back to the 
mains supply. I needed to get my stash of electrons down in the ground 
as fast as possible, before everyone else started doing it.

The fuses in the consumer unit would be limiting though, so I bypassed 
the whole thing. I even bypassed the 100amp emergency fuse upstream of 
my consumer unit. The huge spark as I moved the final scaffold pole into 
contact was quite exciting, and the really loud buzzing noise was 
impressive too.

A quick look into my septic tank showed the electrolyte to be boiling 
furiously. Everything was going well. All the neighbours were out in the 
street moaning that the mains seemed to have been cut off, but by the 
time they figured out why I'd have MY stash of electrons, so hah!

It was about this time when I realised the scaffold poles were starting 
to glow, but then I was distracted by the huge explosion at the small 
sub-station about 100 yards away.

A 2-tonne transformer made it up to about 300ft, before remembering 
about gravity. While the neighbours gathered around the impressive 
crater it made in the road I was distracted because the glowing scaffold 
poles had ignited my stash of toilet rolls.

Fortunately the smoke from the resulting fire concealed me stacking the 
scaffold poles back in a neat pile when the police arrived. I still have 
my secret stash of electrons available once things quieten down, but 
I'll have to start hoarding toilet paper again :-(


David  G3ZPF

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On 16/05/2020 13:05, Bob Betts wrote:
> I was just wondering if SOC has ever offered achievement awards for technical excellence. If so, then I feel compelled to add myself to the list and share a method for testing for "Power Mains Noise" that I created.
> We all know that we can hear atmospheric and man-made noise in our receivers, but how many of us really know how much powerline noise is getting into our transmitters. So, I put my engineering hat on and came  up with a method.
> 1. Get an 8 Ohm loudspeaker2. Wire it with a male 2-prong AC plug3. Plug it into the 120 VAC wall outlet hat feeds your transciever.
> I've tried this and was amazed how much noise I heard. The test didn't last long, maybe 3 or 4 milliseconds (maybe one of the components was faulty).
> Hint; use a very, very large loudspeaker, since this test will draw in excess of 'legal limit', actually about 1.8KW. (8 Ohms at 120VAC = 15 Amps...you do the math).
> Anyhow, I don't expect anything too fancy for this achievement award. Maybe a simple walnut plaque with engraved bronze plate or a certificate (printed on parchment) and suitable for framing.
> I hope there will be other applicants for this award, because I'd feel guilty with a slam-dunk victory.
> 
> Thanks in advance to the Awards Committee. I originally sent this message on April 1st, but it bounced back for being 'exceptionally ludicrous' ... whatever that means.
> Let me add that some mental "experts" are claiming that all this CV19 self-isolation (quarantine) can cause delusions, non-linear thought processes, confusion and brain fog. I don't necessarily agree. Anyhow, try to remain sane during the pandemic thing. Don't touch anything, don't talk to anyone, don't go anywhere...wash your hands at the top and bottom of the hour and for goodness sake wear a mask, gloves, ear plugs and safety goggles.
> Bob, N1KPR (1244)
> 
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> 
> NOTE Pls add backup address to your phone book: rwbetts at yahoo.com
> 
> http://www.bobsamerica.com  http://www.youtube.com/n1kpr
> 
> Engineering: Where Enigma meets Paradox
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