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es =0A>=0A>=0A>________________________________=0A> =0A>GOD: "Frank, =0Ayou=
 know all about gardens and nature. What in the world is=0A>going on down =
=0Athere on the planet? What happened to the dandelions, violets,=0A>milkwe=
eds and =0Astuff I started eons ago? I had a perfect no-maintenance=0A>gard=
en plan.Those =0Aplants grow in any type of soil, withstand drought and=0A>=
multiply with =0Aabandon.The nectar from the long-lasting blossoms attracts=
=0A>butterflies, honey =0Abees and flocks of songbirds. I expected to see a=
 vast=0A>garden of colours by =0Anow. But, all I see are these green rectan=
gles."=0A>=0A>ST. FRANCIS: It's the tribes that settled there, =0ALord. The=
 Suburbanites.=0A>They started calling your flowers 'weeds' and went to =0A=
great lengths to kill=0A>them and replace them with grass.=0A>=0A>GOD: Gras=
s? But, it's so boring.It's not =0Acolourful. It doesn't attract=0A>butterf=
lies, birds and bees; only grubs and sod =0Aworms. It's sensitive to=0A>tem=
peratures. Do these Suburbanites really want all =0Athat grass growing=0A>t=
here?=0A>=0A>ST. =0AFRANCIS: Apparently so, Lord. They go to great pains to=
 grow it =0Aand keep=0A>it green. They begin each spring by fertilizing gra=
ss and poisoning =0Aany=0A>other plant that crops up in the lawn.=0A>=0A>GO=
D: The spring rains and warm weather probably =0Amake grass grow really fas=
t.=0A>That must make the Suburbanites =0Ahappy.=0A>=0A>ST. FRANCIS: Apparen=
tly not, Lord. As soon as it grows a little, they cut=0A>it, sometimes =0At=
wice a week.=0A>=0A>GOD: They cut =0Ait? Do they then bale it like hay?=0A>=
=0A>ST. =0AFRANCIS: Not exactly, Lord. Most of them rake it up and put it =
=0Ain bags.=0A>=0A>GOD: They bag it? =0AWhy? Is it a cash crop? Do they sel=
l it?=0A>=0A>ST. =0AFRANCIS: No, Sir, just the opposite. They pay to throw =
it =0Aaway.=0A>=0A>GOD: Now, let me get =0Athis straight. They fertilize gr=
ass so it will grow.=0A>And, when it does grow, =0Athey cut it off and pay =
to throw it away?=0A>=0A>ST. =0AFRANCIS: Yes, Sir.=0A>=0A>GOD: These Suburb=
anites must be relieved in the =0Asummer when we cut back on=0A>the rain an=
d turn up the heat. That surely slows =0Athe growth and saves them a=0A>lot=
 of work.=0A>=0A>ST. FRANCIS: You aren't going to believe this, =0ALord. Wh=
en the grass stops=0A>growing so fast, they drag out hoses and pay more =0A=
money to water it, so they=0A>can continue to mow it and pay to get rid of =
=0Ait.=0A>=0A>GOD: What nonsense. At =0Aleast they kept some of the trees. =
That was a sheer=0A>stroke of genius, if I do =0Asay so myself. The trees g=
row leaves in the spring=0A>to provide beauty and =0Ashade in the summer. I=
n the autumn, they fall to the=0A>ground and form a =0Anatural blanket to k=
eep moisture in the soil and protect=0A>the trees and =0Abushes. It's a nat=
ural cycle of life.=0A>=0A>ST. =0AFRANCIS: You better sit down, Lord. The S=
uburbanites have drawn =0Aa new=0A>circle. As soon as the leaves fall, they=
 rake them into great piles and =0Apay=0A>to have them hauled away.=0A>GOD:=
 No!?!?!? What do they do to protect the shrub =0Aand tree roots in the=0A>=
winter to keep the soil moist and =0Aloose?=0A>=0A>ST. FRANCIS: After =0Ath=
rowing away the leaves, they go out and buy something=0A>which they call =
=0Amulch. They haul it home and spread it around in place of=0A>the =0Aleav=
es.=0A>=0A>GOD: And where do =0Athey get this mulch?=0A>=0A>ST. =0AFRANCIS:=
 They cut down trees and grind them up to make the =0Amulch.=0A>=0A>GOD: En=
ough! I don't =0Awant to think about this anymore. St. Catherine, you're=0A=
>in charge of the =0Aarts. What movie have you scheduled for us tonight?=0A=
>=0A>ST. CATHERINE: 'Dumb and Dumber', Lord. It's a =0Astory about....=0A>=
=0A>GOD: Never =0Amind, I think I just heard the whole story from St. =0AFr=
ancis.=0A>=0A>=0A>=0A>=0A>=0A>=0A>=0A>_____________________________________=
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