[SOC] Guanovia

[Bob Patten]

The Incredible Shrinking Entity
Tim Cotton (N4UM) on December 4, 2013

Ham radio operators from all over the globe are becoming increasingly 
concerned over the fate of a small governmental entity located in the 
furthermost reaches of the South Pacific. For decades the small 
independent island nation of Guanovia (call sign prefix GR8) has 
provided joy and excitement to both DXers and DXPeditioners alike by 
being among the rarest “entities” in the world... Affectionately known 
to hams the world over as “Guano Reef,” Guanovia continues to shrink in 
land area as the rich phosphate deposits that comprise the reef itself 
are being mined and continue to be shipped all over the world as raw 
materials for fertilizer, explosives and industrial chemicals. Farming 
interests, international terrorists and large multinational corporations 
are all vigorously competing to scoop up what little remains of Guanovia 
before the waters of the Pacific reclaim the reef from whence it rose.

Millions of seabirds, doing what seabirds have done so very well over 
centuries, despite their most valiant efforts, are unable to replenish 
the reef fast enough to keep pace with the modern world's demand for the 
rich deposits that make up the very fabric of the rapidly shrinking 
country. Needless-to-say, ham radio operators from around the world are 
deeply distressed by this state of affairs.


ARRRL's DXCC Advisory Committee, once again demonstrating their well 
known leadership abilities, has stepped into the breach and is reported 
to have started an emergency fund to purchase a small portion of 
Guanovia before the entire island itself is shipped away on a number of 
very large bulk cargo carriers owned by a S.MO.M./San Marino conglomerate.
|

For the sum of only $10,000.00 (plus shipping and handling) a concerned 
DXer will be able to purchase 1 ounce of highly compressed genuine 
Guanovian guano "tastefully" packaged as a commemorative coin with the 
purchaser's call sign embossed on one side and a “Gooneybird” depicted 
in mid flight doing his best to replenish the rapidly shrinking reef on 
the obverse. After very small but necessary administrative costs are 
subtracted, the balance of funds collected will be put toward the 
purchase of a 9X12 foot portion of the reef to be maintained in 
perpetuity as a monument designed to keep “Guano Reef” from sinking 
beneath the waves and becoming a deleted entity.

If the program is successful an elite group of carefully chosen, 
dedicated DXPeditioners will visit the tiny 9X12 foot entity once every 
year to keep it on the “active list.” Be sure to keep an eye out for 
their first DXPedition - rumored to be signing GR8POO. Remember, if you 
haven't worked GR8POO, you haven't worked Guano!

-- 
73,     Bob Patten, N4BP                Plantation, FL

E-Mail :   n4bp at arrl.net                Website: http://www.qsl.net/n4bp
SOC #1          ARS #799                QRP ARCI #3412       FISTS #7871
FP #1491     10-10 #3268                SMIRK #6625