[SOC] Certainly Second Class

[Chris Lashmar]

So so funny 73 M0KJP Chris

On Mon, Jul 16, 2012 at 12:35 PM, BP <n4bp at bellsouth.net> wrote:
> ________________________
>
> True Hillbilly Stories
>
> A friend told the redhead: “Christmas is on a Friday this year.”
>
> The hillbilly then said, “Let’s hope it’s not the 13th.”
>
> ————————————
>
> Two hillbillys find three grenades, and they decide to take them to a
> police station.
>
> One asked: “What if one explodes before we get there?”
>
> The other says: “We’ll lie and say we only found two.”
>
> ————————————
>
> A woman phoned her hillbilly neighbor and said: “Close your curtains the
> next time you & your husband are having sex. The whole street was
> watching and laughing at you yesterday.”
>
> To which the hillbilly replied: “Well the joke’s on all of you because I
> wasn’t even at home yesterday.”
>
> ————————————
>
> A hillbilly is in the bathroom and her husband shouts: “Did you find the
> shampoo?”
>
> She answers, “Yes, but I’m not sure what to do… it’s for dry hair, and
> I’ve just wet mine.”
>
> ——————————
>
> A hillbilly goes to the vet with her goldfish. “I think it’s got
> epilepsy,” she tells the vet.
>
> The vet takes a look and says, “It seems calm enough to me.”
>
> The hillbilly says, “Wait, I haven’t taken it out of the bowl yet”.
>
> ————————————
>
> A hillbilly spies a letter lying on her doormat. It says on the envelope
> “DO NOT BEND “.
>
> She spends the next 2 hours trying to figure out how to pick it up.
>
> ————————————
>
> A hillbilly man shouts frantically into the phone “My wife is pregnant
> and her contractions are only two minutes apart!”
>
> “Is this her first child?” asks the Doctor.
>
> “No”, he shouts, “this is her husband!”
>
> ————————————
>
> A hillbilly was driving home, drunk as a skunk. Suddenly she has to
> swerve to avoid a tree, then another, then another.
> A cop car pulls her over, so she tells the cop about all the trees in
> the road.
>
> The cop says, “That’s your air freshener swinging about!”
>
> ————————————
>
> A hillbillys dog goes missing and she is frantic. Her husband says “Why
> don’t you put an ad in the paper?”
>
> She does, but two weeks later the dog is still missing. “What did you
> put in the paper?” her husband asks.
>
> “Here boy!” she replies.
>
> ————————————
>
> A hillbilly is in jail. Guard looks in her cell and sees her hanging by
> her feet.
> “Just WHAT are you doing?” he asks. “Hanging myself,” the hillbilly replies.
>
> “It should be around your neck” says the guard. “I tried that,” she
> replies, “but then I couldn’t breathe.”
>
> ————————————
>
> (This one actually makes sense…lol)
>
> An Italian tourist asks a hillbilly: “Why do Scuba divers always fall
> backwards off their boats?”
>
> To which the hillbilly replies: “If they fell forward, they’d still be
> in the boat.”
>
> ________________________
>
>
> --
> 73,     Bob Patten, N4BP                Plantation, FL
>
> E-Mail :   n4bp at arrl.net                Website: http://www.qsl.net/n4bp
> SOC #1          ARS #799                QRP ARCI #3412       FISTS #7871
> FP #1491                                SMIRK #6625
>
> ______________________________________________________________
> SOC mailing list
> Home: http://mailman.qth.net/mailman/listinfo/soc
> Help: http://mailman.qth.net/mmfaq.htm
> Post: mailto:SOC at mailman.qth.net
>
> This list hosted by: http://www.qsl.net
> Please help support this email list: http://www.qsl.net/donate.html