[SOC] These are bad

[Bob Nielsen]

> Eight BAD ones ....
>> 
>> 1. King Ozymandias of Assyria was running low on cash after years of
>> war with the Hittites. His last great possession was the Star of the
>> Euphrates, the most valuable diamond in the ancient world. Desperate,
>> he went to Croesus, the pawnbroker, to ask for a loan.
>> 
>> Croesus said, "I'll give you 100,000 dinars for it."
>> "But I paid a million dinars for it," the King protested. "Don't you
>> know who I am? I am the king!"
>> Croesus replied, "When you wish to pawn a Star, makes no difference
>> who you are."
>> 
>> ---------------------
>> 
>> 2. Evidence has been found that William Tell and his family were avid
>> bowlers. Unfortunately, all the Swiss league records were destroyed in
>> a fire, ...and so we'll never know for whom the Tells bowled.
>> 
>> ---------------------
>> 
>> 3. A man rushed into a busy doctor's surgery and shouted, "Doctor! I
>> think I'm shrinking!" The doctor calmly responded, "Now, settle
>> down..You'll just have to be a little patient."
>> 
>> ---------------------
>> 
>> 4. Back in the 1800's the Tate's Watch Company of Massachusetts wanted
>> to produce other products, and since they already made the cases for
>> watches, they used them to produce compasses. The new compasses were
>> so bad that people often ended up in Canada or Mexico rather than
>> California. This, of course, is the origin of the expression -- "He
>> who has a Tate's is lost!"
>> 
>> ----------------------
>> 
>> 5. An Indian chief was feeling very sick, so he summoned the medicine
>> man. After a brief examination, the medicine man took out a long, thin
>> strip of elk rawhide and gave it to the chief, telling him to bite
>> off, chew, and swallow one inch of the leather every day. After a
>> month, the medicine man returned to see how the chief was feeling. The
>> chief shrugged and said, "The thong is ended, but the malady lingers
>> on."
>> 
>> ----------------------
>> 
>> 6. A famous Viking explorer returned home from a voyage and found his
>> name missing from the town register. His wife insisted on complaining
>> to the local civic official, who apologized profusely saying, "I must
>> have taken Leif off my census."
>> 
>> ----------------------
>> 
>> 7. There were three Indian squaws. One slept on a deer skin, one slept
>> on an elk skin, and the third slept on a hippopotamus skin. All three
>> became pregnant. The first two each had a baby boy. The one who slept
>> on the hippopotamus skin had twin boys. This just goes to prove
>> that... the squaw of the hippopotamus is equal to the sons of the
>> squaws of the other two hides. (Some of you may need help with this
>> one).
>> 
>> -----------------------
>> 
>> 8. A skeptical anthropologist was cataloging South American folk
>> remedies with the assistance of a tribal elder who indicated that the
>> leaves of a particular fern were a sure cure for any case of
>> constipation. When the anthropologist expressed his doubts, the elder
>> looked him in the eye and said, "Let me tell you, with fronds like
>> these, you don't need enemas."
>>   
>>  
> 
> 
> 
> 

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