[SOC] Puttin' your affairs in order

[Bob Nielsen]

The doctor, after an examination, sighed and said, 'I've got some bad  
news. You have cancer, and you'd best 'put your affairs in order'.

The woman was shocked, but managed to compose herself and walk into  
the waiting room where her daughter had been waiting.  'Well,  
daughter, we women celebrate when things are good, and we celebrate  
when things don't go so well.  In this case, things aren't well.  I  
have cancer.  So, let's head to the club and have a martini.'

After 3 or 4 martinis, the two were feeling a little less somber.   
There were some laughs and more martinis.  They were eventually  
approached by some of the woman's old friends, who were curious as to  
what the two were celebrating.

The woman told her friends they were drinking to her impending end,  
'I've been diagnosed with AIDS.' The friends were aghast, gave the  
woman their condolences and beat a hasty retreat.  A

fter the friends left, the woman's daughter leaned over and  
whispered, 'Momma, I thought you said you were dying of cancer, and  
you just told your friends you were dying of AIDS!  Why did you do  
that??' '

Because I don't want any of those bitches sleeping with your father  
after I'm gone.'

And THAT, my friends, is what is called, 'Puttin' your affairs in  
order'.