[SOC] Sarcasm

[Bob Patten]

Sarcasm

(1)  Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead.  Do not walk ahead of 
me, for I may not follow. Do not walk beside me either.  Just pretty 
much leave me alone.

(2)  It’s  always darkest before  dawn.  So if you’re going to steal 
your neighbor’s newspaper, that’s the time to do it.

(3)  Don’t be irreplaceable.  If you can’t be replaced, you can’t be 
promoted.

(4)  Always remember that you’re unique.  Just like everyone else.

(5)  Never test the depth of the water with both feet.

(6)  If you think nobody cares if you’re alive, try missing a couple of 
car payments.

(7)  Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their 
shoes.  That way, when you criticize them, you’re a mile away and you 
have their shoes.

(8)  If at first you don’t succeed, skydiving is probably not for you.

(9)  Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day.  Teach him how to 
fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day.

(10) If you lend someone $20 and never see that person again, it was 
probably a wise investment.

(11) If you tell the truth, you don’t have to remember anything.

(12) Some days you’re the bug; some days you’re the windshield.

(13) Everyone seems normal until you get to know them.

(14) The quickest way to double your money is to fold it in half and put 
it back in your pocket.

(15) A closed mouth gathers no foot.

(16) There are two theories to arguing with women. Neither one works.

(17) Generally speaking, you aren’t learning much when your lips are moving.

(18) Experience is something you don’t get until just after you need  it.

(19) Never miss a good chance to shut up.

(20) Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative 
on the same night.

-- 
73,     Bob Patten, N4BP                Plantation, FL

E-Mail :   n4bp at arrl.net                Website: http://www.qsl.net/n4bp
SOC #1          ARS #799                QRP ARCI #3412       FISTS #7871
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