[SOC] Clever Truisms

[Bob Patten]

Clever Truisms

1. I think part of a best friend’s job should be to immediately clear 
your computer history if you die.

  2. Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you 
realize you’re wrong.

  3. I totally take back all those times I didn’t want to nap when I was 
younger.

  4. There is great need for a sarcasm font.

  5. How the hell are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet?

  6. Was learning cursive really necessary?

  7. Map Quest really needs to start their directions on #5. I’m pretty 
sure I know how to get out of my neighborhood.

  8. Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the 
person died.

  9. I can’t remember the last time I wasn’t at least kind of tired.

  10. Bad decisions make good stories.

  11. You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at 
work when you know that you just aren’t going to do anything productive 
for the rest of the day.

  12. Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after Blue Ray? I 
don’t want to have to restart my collection…again.

  13. I’m always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks 
me if I want to save any changes to my ten-page research paper that I 
swear I did not make any changes to.

  14. “Do not machine wash or tumble dry” means I will never wash this – 
ever.

  15. I hate when I just miss a call by the last ring (Hello? Hello? 
Damn it!), but when I immediately call back, it rings nine times and 
goes to voicemail. What did you do after I didn’t answer? Drop the phone 
and run away??

16. I hate leaving my house confident and looking good and then not 
seeing anyone of importance the entire day. What a waste.

17. I keep some people’s phone numbers in my phone just so I know not to 
answer when they call.

18. I think the freezer deserves a light as well.

  19. I disagree with Kay Jewelers. I would bet on any given Friday or 
Saturday night more kisses begin with Miller Lite than Kay.?

  20. I wish Google Maps had an “Avoid Ghetto” routing option

  21. Sometimes, I’ll watch a movie that I watched when I was younger 
and suddenly realize I had no idea what the heck was going on when I 
first saw it.

  22. I would rather try to carry 10 plastic grocery bags in each hand 
than take 2 trips to bring my groceries in.?

  23. The only time I look forward to a red light is when I’m trying to 
finish a text.?

  24. I have a hard time deciphering the fine line between boredom and 
hunger.?

  25. How many times is it appropriate to say “What?” before you just 
nod and smile because you still didn’t hear or understand a word they said??

  26. I love the sense of camaraderie when an entire line of cars team 
up to prevent a jerk from cutting in at the front. Stay strong, brothers 
and sisters!?

  27. Shirts get dirty. Underwear gets dirty. Pants? Pants never get 
dirty, and you can wear them forever.

  28. Is it just me or do high school kids get dumber & dumber every year?

  29. There’s no worse feeling than that millisecond you’re sure you are 
going to die after leaning your chair back a little too far.?

  30. As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate 
drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate 
cyclists.

  31. Sometimes I’ll look down at my watch 3 consecutive times and still 
not know what time it is.

  32. Even under ideal conditions people have trouble locating their car 
keys in a pocket, finding their cell phone, and Pinning the Tail on the 
Don key – but I’d bet my all everyone can find and push the snooze 
button from 3 feet away, in about 1.7 seconds, eyes closed, first time, 
every time!
________________________

-- 
73,     Bob Patten, N4BP                Plantation, FL

E-Mail :   n4bp at arrl.net                Website: http://www.qsl.net/n4bp
SOC #1          ARS #799                QRP ARCI #3412       FISTS #7871
FP #1491                                SMIRK #6625