[SOC] Fwd: Washington Post's Mensa Invitational

[peteclough at aol.com]

 There is nothing here relating to Amateur Radio.
 But I thought that this, as a group(Excep[t ME,haha) are MENSA  candidates..and qualified... This would be accepted.
Some of you need to Take a special look at NUMBER 5.. I know  It resonated.. HAH.. 
Pete C


Subject: Washington Post's Mensa Invitational


  
  
    
      
      
      
        
        
          
            
            
The Washington Post's Mensa             Invitational once again invited readers to take any word from the             dictionary, alter it by adding,  subtracting, or changing one             letter, and supply a new definition. 

Here are the             winners: 

 1. Cashtration (n.):             The act of buying a house, which renders the subject financially             impotent for an indefinite period of             time

 2. Ignoranus : A person who's             both stupid and an             asshole.
 
 3. Intaxicaton :             Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts until you realize it             was your money to start             with.
 
 4. Reintarnation : Coming             back to life as a             hillbilly.
 
 5. Bozone ( n.): The             substance surrounding stupid people that stops bright ideas from             penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately, shows little sign of             breaking down in the near             future. 

6. Foreploy : Any             misrepresentation about  yourself for the purpose of getting             laid. 
 
 7. Giraffiti :             Vandalism spray-painted very, very             high 
 
 8. Sarchasm : The             gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn't             get it.
 
 9. Inoculatte : To take             coffee intravenously when you are running             late.
 
 10. Osteopornosis : A             degenerate disease. (This one got extra             credit.)
 
 11. Karmageddon : It's             like, when everybody is sending off all these  really bad             vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth explodes and it's like, a             serious             bummer. 
 
 12. Decafalon (n.):             The grueling event of getting through the day consuming only things             that are good for             you.
 
 13. Glibido : All talk and             no action. 
 
 14. Dopeler             Effect: The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when             they come at you             rapidly. 
 
 15. Arachnoleptic             Fit (n.): The frantic dance performed just after you've             accidentally walked through a spider             web.
 
 16. Beelzebug (n.): Satan             in the form of a mosquito, that gets into your bedroom at three in             the morning and cannot be cast             out.
 
 17. Caterpallor ( n.): The             color you turn after finding half a worm in the fruit you're             eating.
 
 The Washington Post has also             published the winning submissions to its yearly contest, in which             readers are asked to supply alternate meanings for common             words.
 
 And the winners             are:
 
1. Coffee, n..             The person upon whom one             coughs. 
 
 2. Flabbergasted, adj.             Appalled by discovering how much weight one has             gained. 
 
 3.. Abdicate, v.             To give up all hope of ever having a flat             stomach.
 
 4 esplanade, v. To             attempt an explanation while             drunk.
 
 5. Willy-nilly, adj.             Impotent. 
 
 6.. Negligent, adj.             Absentmindedly answering the door when wearing only a             nightgown.
 
 7. Lymph, v.. To walk             with a lisp.
 
 8. Gargoyle, n.             Olive-flavored             mouthwash.
 
 9. Flatulence, n.             Emergency vehicle that picks up someone who has been run over by a             steamroller.
 
 10. Balderdash, n.             A rapidly receding             hairline.
 
 11. Testicle, n. A             humorous question on an             exam. 
 
 12. Rectitude, n.             The formal, dignified bearing adopted by             proctologists. 
 
 13. Pokemon, n.             A Rastafarian proctologist. 

  14. Oyster, n.             A person who sprinkles his conversation with             Yiddishisms. 
 
  15. Frisbeetarianism, n.             The belief that, after death, the soul flies up onto the roof and             gets stuck             there.
 
  16. Circumvent, n.             An opening in the front of boxer shorts worn by Jewish             men