[SOC] Advice from a retired husband

[Carl Strode]

This was even funnier the first 5 times I saw it posted here!

Bob Nielsen wrote:
> It is important for men to remember that, as women grow older, it  
> becomes harder for them to maintain the same quality of housekeeping  
> as when they were younger.  When you notice this, try not to yell at  
> them.  Some are oversensitive, and there's nothing worse than an  
> oversensitive woman.
>
> My name is Mike.  Let me relate how I handled the situation with my  
> wife, Patricia.  When I retired a few years ago, it became necessary  
> for Patty to get a full-time job, along with her part-time job, both  
> for extra income and for the health benefits that we needed.
>
> Shortly after she started working, I noticed she was beginning to  
> show her age.  I usually get home from the golf club about the same  
> time she gets home from work.
>
> Although she knows how hungry I am, she almost always says she has to  
> rest for half an hour or so before she starts dinner.  I don't yell  
> at her.  Instead, I tell her to take her time and just wake me when  
> she gets dinner on the table.  I generally have lunch in the Men's  
> Grill at the club, so eating out is not reasonable.  I'm ready for  
> some home-cooked grub when I hit that door.
>
> She used to do the dishes as soon as we finished eating.  But now  
> it's not unusual for them to sit on the table for several hours after  
> dinner.
>
> I do what I can by diplomatically reminding her several times each  
> evening that they won't clean themselves.  I know she really  
> appreciates this, as it does seem to motivate her to get them done  
> before she goes to bed.
>
> Another symptom of aging is complaining, I think.  For example, she  
> will say that it is difficult for her to find time to pay the monthly  
> bills during her lunch hour.  But, Boys, we take 'em for better or  
> worse, so I just smile and offer encouragement.  I tell her to  
> stretch it out over two, or even three days.  That way, she won't  
> have to rush so much.  I also remind her that missing lunch  
> completely now and then wouldn't hurt her any (if you know what I  
> mean).  I like to think tact is one of my strong points.
>
> When doing simple jobs, she seems to think she needs more rest  
> periods.  She had to take a break when she was only half-finished  
> mowing the yard.  I try not to make a scene.
>
> I'm a fair man.  I tell her to fix herself a nice, big, cold glass of  
> freshly squeezed lemonade and just sit for a while.  And, as long as  
> she is making one for herself, she may as well make one for me, too.
>
> I know that I probably look like a saint in the way I support Patty.   
> I'm not saying that showing this much consideration is easy.  Many  
> men will find it difficult.  Some will find it impossible!  Nobody  
> knows better than I do how frustrating women get as they get older.   
> However, Guys, even if you just use a little more tact and less  
> criticism of your aging wife because of this article, I will consider  
> that writing it was well worthwhile.  After all, we are put on this  
> earth to help each other.
>
> Signed, Mike
>
> EDITOR'S NOTE:
>
> Mike died suddenly on April, 1st, of a perforated rectum.
>
> The police report says he was found with a Calloway extra-long 50- 
> inch Big Bertha Driver II golf club jammed up his rear end, with  
> barely 5 inches of grip showing, and a sledge hammer laying nearby.   
> His wife Patricia was arrested and charged with murder.  The all- 
> woman jury took only 10 minutes to find her "Not Guilty", accepting  
> her defense that Mike, somehow without looking, accidentally sat down  
> on his golf club.
>
>
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