[SOC] Advice from a retired husband

[Bob Nielsen]

It is important for men to remember that, as women grow older, it  
becomes harder for them to maintain the same quality of housekeeping  
as when they were younger.  When you notice this, try not to yell at  
them.  Some are oversensitive, and there's nothing worse than an  
oversensitive woman.

My name is Mike.  Let me relate how I handled the situation with my  
wife, Patricia.  When I retired a few years ago, it became necessary  
for Patty to get a full-time job, along with her part-time job, both  
for extra income and for the health benefits that we needed.

Shortly after she started working, I noticed she was beginning to  
show her age.  I usually get home from the golf club about the same  
time she gets home from work.

Although she knows how hungry I am, she almost always says she has to  
rest for half an hour or so before she starts dinner.  I don't yell  
at her.  Instead, I tell her to take her time and just wake me when  
she gets dinner on the table.  I generally have lunch in the Men's  
Grill at the club, so eating out is not reasonable.  I'm ready for  
some home-cooked grub when I hit that door.

She used to do the dishes as soon as we finished eating.  But now  
it's not unusual for them to sit on the table for several hours after  
dinner.

I do what I can by diplomatically reminding her several times each  
evening that they won't clean themselves.  I know she really  
appreciates this, as it does seem to motivate her to get them done  
before she goes to bed.

Another symptom of aging is complaining, I think.  For example, she  
will say that it is difficult for her to find time to pay the monthly  
bills during her lunch hour.  But, Boys, we take 'em for better or  
worse, so I just smile and offer encouragement.  I tell her to  
stretch it out over two, or even three days.  That way, she won't  
have to rush so much.  I also remind her that missing lunch  
completely now and then wouldn't hurt her any (if you know what I  
mean).  I like to think tact is one of my strong points.

When doing simple jobs, she seems to think she needs more rest  
periods.  She had to take a break when she was only half-finished  
mowing the yard.  I try not to make a scene.

I'm a fair man.  I tell her to fix herself a nice, big, cold glass of  
freshly squeezed lemonade and just sit for a while.  And, as long as  
she is making one for herself, she may as well make one for me, too.

I know that I probably look like a saint in the way I support Patty.   
I'm not saying that showing this much consideration is easy.  Many  
men will find it difficult.  Some will find it impossible!  Nobody  
knows better than I do how frustrating women get as they get older.   
However, Guys, even if you just use a little more tact and less  
criticism of your aging wife because of this article, I will consider  
that writing it was well worthwhile.  After all, we are put on this  
earth to help each other.

Signed, Mike

EDITOR'S NOTE:

Mike died suddenly on April, 1st, of a perforated rectum.

The police report says he was found with a Calloway extra-long 50- 
inch Big Bertha Driver II golf club jammed up his rear end, with  
barely 5 inches of grip showing, and a sledge hammer laying nearby.   
His wife Patricia was arrested and charged with murder.  The all- 
woman jury took only 10 minutes to find her "Not Guilty", accepting  
her defense that Mike, somehow without looking, accidentally sat down  
on his golf club.