[SOC] Classic SOC

[Bob Patten]

Dearest Redneck Son,

I’m writing this slow because I know you can’t read fast. We don’t live 
where we did when you left home. Your dad read in the newspaper that 
most accidents happen within 20 miles of your home, so we moved. I won’t 
be able to send you the address because the last  Missisippi  family 
that lived here took the house numbers when they moved so they wouldn’t 
have to change their address.

Reverend Billy Fred stopped by the other day just
to tell us to go to hell.

This place is really nice. It even has a washing machine. I’m not sure 
about it. I put a load of clothes in and pulled the chain. We haven’t 
seen them since.

The weather isn’t bad here. It only rained twice last week; the first 
time for three days and the second time for four days.

About that coat you wanted me to send; your Uncle Billy Bob said it 
would be too heavy to send in the mail with the buttons on, so we cut 
them off and put them in the pockets.

Bubba locked his keys in the car yesterday. We were really worried 
because it took him two hours to get me and your father out.

Your sister had a baby this morning, but I haven’t found out what
it is yet so I don’t know if you are an aunt or uncle.

Uncle Bobby Ray fell into a whiskey vat last week. Some men tried to 
pull him out but he fought them off and drowned. We had him cremated, he 
burned for three days.

Three of your friends went off a bridge in a pickup truck. Butch was 
driving. He rolled down the window and swam to safety. Your other two 
friends were in the back. They drowned because they couldn’t get the 
tailgate down!

There isn’t much more news at this time. Nothing much out of the normal 
has happened.

Your Favorite Aunt,
Mom


-- 
73,     Bob Patten, N4BP                Plantation, FL

E-Mail :   n4bp at arrl.net                Website: http://www.qsl.net/n4bp
SOC #1          ARS #799                QRP ARCI #3412       FISTS #7871
FP #1491                                SMIRK #6625