[SOC] Very SOC

[Derek Wills]

I really don't know whether to believe these, even though they are
supposed to be real, but they're very SOC-ish and good for a giggle -
(well, I do bleieve the first one, unfortunately),
Derek aa5bt
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TOP 8 MORONS OF 2004

1. WILL THE REAL DUMMY PLEASE STAND UP?  AT&T fired President John 
Walter after nine months, saying he lacked intellectual leadership. 
He received a $26 million severance package.  Perhaps it's not Walter 
who's lacking intelligence.

2. WITH A LITTLE HELP FROM OUR FRIENDS: Police in Oakland, CA spent 
two hours attempting to subdue a gunman who had barricaded himself 
inside his home. After firing ten tear gas canisters, officers 
discovered that the man was standing beside them in the police line, 
shouting, "Please come out and give yourself up."

3. WHAT WAS PLAN B??? An Illinois man, pretending to have a gun, 
kidnapped a motorist and forced him to drive to two different 
automated teller machines, wherein the kidnapper proceeded to 
withdraw money from his own bank accounts.

4. THE GETAWAY! A man walked into a Topeka, Kansas Kwik Stop and 
asked for all the money in the cash drawer. Apparently, the take was 
too small, so he tied up the store clerk and worked the counter 
himself for three hours until police showed up and grabbed him.

5. DID I SAY THAT??? Police in Los Angeles had good luck with a 
robbery suspect who just couldn't control himself during a lineup. 
When detectives asked each man in the lineup to! Repeat the words: 
"Give me all your money or I'll shoot", the man shouted, "that's not 
what I said!"

6. ARE WE COMMUNICATING??? A man spoke frantically into the phone: 
"My wife is pregnant and her contractions are only two minutes 
apart". "Is this her first child?" the doctor asked. "No!"! The man 
shouted, "This is her husband!"

7. NOT THE SHARPEST TOOL IN THE SHED!  In Modesto, CA, Steven Richard 
King was arrested for trying to hold up a Bank of America branch 
without a weapon. King used a thumb and a finger to simulate a gun. 
Unfortunately, he failed to keep his hand in his pocket. 
(hellooooooo)!

8. THE GRAND FINALE!!! Last  summer, down on Lake Isabella, located 
in the high desert, an hour east of  Bakersfield, CA, some folks, new 
to boating, were having a problem. No matter how hard they tried, 
they couldn't get their brand new 22 foot boat, going. It was very 
sluggish in almost every maneuver, no matter how much power t hey 
applied. After about an hour of trying to make it go, they putted 
into a nearby marina, thinking someone there may be able to tell them 
what was wrong. A thorough topside check revealed everything in 
perfect working condition. The engine ran fine, the out-drive went up 
and down, and the propeller was the correct size and pitch. So, one 
of the marina guys jumped in the water to check underneath. He came 
up choking on water, he was laughing so hard.

(NOW REMEMBER...THIS IS TRUE.)

Under the boat, still strapped securely in place, was the trailer!
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