[SOC] Lawyers

[Bill Cunningham]

Message

Why Lawyers should never ask a witness a question if they aren't
prepared for the answer:

In a trial, a Southern small town prosecuting attorney called his first
witness to the stand-a-grandmotherly, elderly woman. He approached her
and asked,"Mrs.Jones, do you know me?"

She responded, "Why, yes I do know you, Mr.Williams. I've known you
since you were a young boy, and frankly, you've been a big disappointment
to me.
You lie, you cheat on your wife, you manipulate people and talk about them
behind their backs. You think you're a big shot when you haven't the
brains to realize you never will amount to anything more than a two-bit
paper
pusher. Yes, I know you."

The Lawyer was stunned. Not knowing what else to do, he pointed across
the room and asked, "Mrs.Jones do you know the defense attorney?"
She again replied, "Why yes, I do. I've known Mr. Bradley since he was
a youngster, too. He's lazy, bigoted, and he has a drinking problem.
He can't build a normal relationship with anyone and his law practice
is one of the worst in the entire state. Not to mention he cheated on his
wife
with three different women,one of them was your wife. Yes, I know him."

The defense attorney almost died.

The judge asked both counselors to approach the bench, and in a very
quiet voice, said:

"If either of you bastards asks her if she knows me, I'll throw your
sorry asses in jail for contempt."