[SOC] Nominees for the Annual SOC Awards

[Bob Baxter]

> 
> Question: If you could live forever, would you and why? Answer: "I would
> not live forever, because we should not live forever, because if we were
> supposed to live forever, then we would live forever, but we cannot live
> forever, which is why I would not live forever," -- Miss Alabama in the
> 1994 Miss USA contest. 
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> "Whenever I watch TV and see those poor starving kids all over the
> world, I can't help but cry. I mean I'd love to be skinny like that, but
> not with all those flies and death and stuff." --Mariah Carey 
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> "Smoking kills. If you're killed, you've lost a very important part of
> your life," --Brooke Shields, during an interview to become Spokesperson
> for federal anti smoking campaign. 
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> "I've never had major knee surgery on any other part of my body," --
> Winston Bennett, University of Kentucky basketball forward. 
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> "Outside of the killings, Washington has one of the lowest crime rates
> in the country," -- Mayor Marion Barry, Washington, DC. 
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> "That lowdown scoundrel deserves to be kicked to death by a jackass, and
> I'm just the one to do it," -- A congressional candidate in Texas. 
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> "I don't feel we did wrong in taking this great country away from them.
> There were great numbers of people who needed new land, and the Indians
> were selfishly trying to keep it for themselves." -- John Wayne 
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> "Half this game is ninety percent mental." -- Philadelphia Phillies
> manager, Danny Ozark 
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> "It isn't pollution that's harming the environment. It's the impurities
> in our air and water that are doing it." -- Al Gore, Vice President 
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> "I love California. I practically grew up in Phoenix." -- Dan Quayle 
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> " It's no exaggeration to say that the undecideds could go one way or
> another" -- George Bush, US President 
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> "We've got to pause and ask ourselves: How much clean air do we need?"
> -- Lee Iacocca 
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> "I was provided with additional input that was radically different from
> the truth. I assisted in furthering that version." -- Colonel Oliver
> North, from his Iran-Contra testimony. 
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> "The word "genius" isn't applicable in football. A genius is a guy like
> Norman Einstein." -- Joe Theisman, NFL football quarterback & sports
> analyst. 
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> "We don't necessarily discriminate. We simply exclude certain types of
> people." --Colonel Gerald Wellman, ROTC Instructor. 
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> "We are ready for an unforeseen event that may or may not occur." -- Al
> Gore, VP 
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> "Traditionally, most of Australia's imports come from overseas." --
> Keppel Enderbery 
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> "Your food stamps will be stopped effective March 1992 because we
> received notice that you passed away. May God bless you. You may reapply
> if there is a change in your circumstances." -- Department of Social
> Services, Greenville, South Carolina 
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> "If somebody has a bad heart, they can plug this jack in at night as
> they go to bed and it will monitor their heart throughout the night.
> And the next morning, when they wake up dead, there'll be a record." --
> Mark S. Fowler, FCC Chairman 
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> ....Feeling smarter yet?  > 
>