[SOC] Speeding

[Ron Wetjen]

Subject: Speeding

Woman: Is there a problem, Officer?

Officer: Ma'am, you were speeding.

Woman: Oh, I see.

Officer: Can I see your license please?

Woman: I'd give it to you but I don't have one.

Officer: Don't have one?

Woman: Lost it 4 times for drunk driving.

Officer: I see...Can I see your vehicle registration
papers please.

Woman: I can't do that.

Officer: Why not?

Woman: I stole this car.

Officer: Stole it?

Woman: Yes, and I killed and hacked up the owner.

Officer: You what?

  Woman: His body parts are in plastic bags in the
trunk if you want to see.

The Officer looks at the woman and slowly backs away
to his car and calls for back up. Within minutes 5
police cars circle the car. A senior officer slowly
approaches the car, clasping his half drawn
gun.

Officer 2: Ma'am, could you step out of your vehicle
please!

The woman steps out of her vehicle.

Woman: Is there a problem, sir?

Officer 2: One of my officers told me that you have
stolen this car and murdered the owner.

Woman: Murdered the owner?

Officer 2: Yes, could you please open the trunk of
your car, please.

The woman opens the trunk, revealing nothing but an
empty trunk.

Officer 2: Is this your car, ma'am?

Woman: Yes, here are the registration papers.

The officer is quite stunned.

Officer 2: One of my officers claims that you do not
have a driving license.

The woman digs into her handbag and pulls out a clutch
purse and hands it to the officer. The officer snaps
opens the clutch purse and examines the license. He
looks quite puzzled.

Officer 2: Thank you, ma'am. One of my officers told
me you didn't have a license, that you stole this car,
and that you murdered and hacked up the owner.

Woman: Bet you the lying bastard told you I was
speeding, too.