[SOC] Why we love kids!

[Ron Wetjen]

Why We Love Our Kid's

I was driving with my three young children one warm
summer evening when a woman in the convertible ahead
of us stood up and waved. She was stark naked! As I
was reeling from the shock, I heard my five-year-old
shout from the back seat, "Mom! That lady isn't
wearing a seat belt!"

- ------

My son Zachary, 4, came screaming out of the bathroom
to tell me he'd dropped his toothbrush in the toilet.
So I fished it out and threw it in the garbage.
Zachary stood there thinking for a moment, then ran to
my bathroom and came out with my toothbrush. He held
it up and said with a charming little smile, "We
better throw this one out too then, 'cause it fell in
the toilet a few days ago'."

- --------

On the first day of school, a first grader handed his
teacher a note from his mother. The note read, "The
opinions expressed by this child are not
necessarily those of his parents."

- --------

A woman was trying hard to get the catsup to come out
of the jar. During her struggle the phone rang so she
asked her four-year old daughter toanswer the phone.
"It's the minister, Mommy," the child said to her
mother. Then she added, "Mommy can't come to the phone
to talk to you right now. She's hitting the bottle."

- --------

A little boy got lost at the YMCA and found himself in
the women's lockerroom. When he was spotted, the room
burst into shrieks, with ladies grabbing towels and
running for cover. The little boy watched in amazement
and then asked, "What's the matter haven't you ever
seen a little boy before?"


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POLICE # 1

While taking a routine vandalism report at an
elementary school, I was interrupted by a little girl
about six years old. Looking up and down at my
uniform, she asked, "Are you a cop?" "Yes," I answered
and continued writing the report. "My mother said if I
ever needed help I should ask the police.. Is that
right?" "Yes, that's right," I told her. "Well, then,"
she said as she extended her foot toward me, "would
you please tie my shoe?"

POLICE # 2

It was the end of the day when I parked my police van
in front of the station. As I gathered my equipment,
my K-9 partner, Jake, was barking, and I saw a little
boy staring in at me. "Is that a dog you got back
there?" he asked. "It sure is," I replied. Puzzled,
the boy looked at me and then towards the back of the
van. Finally he said, "What'd he do?"

ELDERLY

While working for an organization that delivers
lunches to elderly shut-ins, I used to take my
four-year-old daughter on my afternoon rounds.
She was unfailingly intrigued by the various
appliances of old age, particularly the canes, walkers
and wheelchairs. One day I found her staring at a pair
of false teeth soaking in a glass. As I braced myself
for the inevitable barrage of questions, she merely
turned and whispered, "The toothfairy will never
believe this!"

DRESS~UP

A little girl was watching her parents dress for a
party. When she saw her dad donning his tuxedo, she
warned, "Daddy, you shouldn't wear that suit."
"And why not, darling?" "You know that it always gives
you a headache next morning."

DEATH

While walking along the sidewalk in front of his
church, our minister heard the intoning of a prayer
that nearly made his collar wilt. Apparently, his
five-year-old son and his playmates had found a dead
robin. Feeling that proper burial should be performed,
they had secured a small box and cotton batting, then
dug a hole and made ready for the disposal of the
deceased.

The minister's son was chosen to say the appropriate
prayers and with sonorous dignity intoned his version
of what he thought his father always said: "Glory be
unto the Faaaather. and unto the Sonnn..... and into
the hole he gooooes."

SCHOOL

A little girl had just finished her first week of
school. "I'm just wasting my time," she said to her
mother. "I can't read, I can't write and they
won't let me talk!"

BIBLE

A little boy opened the big family bible. He was
fascinated as he fingered through the old pages.
Suddenly, something fell out of the Bible. He picked
up the object and looked at it. What he saw was an
old leaf that had been pressed in between the pages.
"Mama, look what I found", the boy called out. "What
have you got there, dear"? With astonishment in the
young boy's voice, he answered, "I think it's Adam's
underwear!"