[SOC] Changing subject -- new medication for Women.

[W.B. Cunningham]

You can share this one with the XYL



New Medication For Women

Damitol: Take 2 and the rest of the world can go to hell for up to 8 hours.

St. Mom�s Wort: Plant extract that treats mom�s depression by rendering
preschoolers unconscious for up to six hours.

Empty Nestrogen: Highly effective suppository that eliminates melancholy but
enhancing the memory of how awful they were as teenagers and how you
couldn't wait until they moved out.

Peptobimbo: Liquid silicone for single women. Two cups swallowed before an
evening out increases breast size, decreases intelligence and improves
flirting.

Dumerol: When taken with Peptobimbo, can cause dangerously low IQ causing
enjoyment of country western music.

Flipitor: Increases life expectancy of commuters by controlling road rage
and the urge to flip off others.

Antiboyotics: When administered to teenage girls, is highly effective in
improving grades, freeing up phone lines, and reducing money spent on
makeup.

Menicillin: Potent antiboyotic, for older women. Increases resistance to
such lines as "you make me want to be a better person�can we get naked now?"

Buyagra: Injectable stimulant taken prior to shopping. Increases potency and
duration of spending sprees.

Extra Strength Buy-One-All: When combined with buyagra, can cause and
indiscriminate buying frenzy so severe the victim may even come home with a
Donny Osmond CD or a book by Dr. Laura.

Jackassprin: Relieves headache caused by a man who can't remember your
birthday, anniversary or phone number.

Antistalksident: A spray can carried in purse or wallet to be used on anyone
too eager to share their life stories with total strangers.

Sexcedrin: More effective than excederin in treating the "Not now dear, I
have a headache" syndrome.

Ragamat: When administered to a husband, provides the same irritation as
ragging on him all weekend, saving the wife the time and trouble of doing it
herself.