[SOC] The Irish Declare War on Iraq (fwd)

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    Irish Declare War on Iraq

Saddam Hussein was sitting in his office wondering

whom to invade next when his telephone rang.

"Hello, Mr. Hussein!", a heavily accented voice
said.
"This is Paddy down at the Harp Pub in County
Sligo,
Ireland. I am ringing to inform you that we are
officially declaring war on you!"

"Well, Paddy," Saddam replied, "this is indeed
important news! How big is your army?"

"Right now," said Paddy, after a moment's
calculation,
"there is myself, my cousin Sean, my next door
neighbor
Seamus, and the entire dart team from the pub.
That makes eight!"

Saddam paused. "I must tell you, Paddy, that I
have one million men in my army waiting to move
on my command." "Begorra!", said Paddy. "I'll
have to ring you back!"

Sure enough, the next day, Paddy called again.
"Mr. Hussein, the war is still on! We have managed

to acquire some infantry equipment!"

"And what equipment would that be, Paddy?" Saddam
asked.

"Well, we have two combines, a bulldozer, and
Murphy's farm tractor."

Saddam sighed. "I must tell you, Paddy, that I
have 16,000 tanks and 14,000 armored personnel
carriers. Also, I've increased my army to 1-1/2
million since we last spoke."

"Saints preserve us!" said Paddy. "I'll have
to get back to you."

Sure enough, Paddy rang again the next day.
"Mr. Hussein, the war is still on! We have
managed to get ourselves airborne! We've
modified Harrigan's ultra-light with a
couple of shotguns in the cockpit, and
four boys from the Shamrock Pub have
joined us as well!"

Saddam was silent for a minute and then
cleared his throat. "I must tell you, Paddy,
that I have 10,000 bombers and 20,000 fighter
planes. My military complex is surrounded by
laser-guided, surface-to-air missile sites.
And since we last spoke, I've increased my
army to TWO MILLION!"

"Jesus, Mary, and Joseph!", said Paddy,
"I'll have to ring you back." Sure enough,
Paddy called again the next day. "Top o'
the mornin', Mr. Hussein! I am sorry to
tell you that we have had to call off the war."

"I'm sorry to hear that," said Saddam.
"Why the sudden change of heart?"

"Well," said Paddy, "we've all had a long
chat over a few jars at the Harp Pub, and
decided there's no way we can feed two million
prisoners."

God Bless the Irish!