[SOC] The funny one !

[soc@mailman.qth.net]

Letter of complain which circulates in this moment at Oracle and elsewhere. 
Authentic or not, it is funny...


 Dear Sir, I write to you to express my great disapointment as for the hardware 
and software that you delivered to me. For recall, I take in 1947 the company 
of my father. It sold and still sells industrial boilers in the whole world. In 
1948 the sales turnover was 100 million dollars. Currently, I am to 10 
billions. I thus centuplicated the sales turnover. But better, I multiplied by 
300 the benefit. For that, and since 1948, I decided to computerize my company. 
I was one of the pioneers. I always invested largely in data processing and I 
estimate that it is thanks to it that the productivity of my company increased. 
I control all with data processing, of the production to the sale while passing 
by stock, finances, the personnel, the purchases and the forecasts. Since 1960 
I was a regular guest of forums, seminars and others where I showed the 
interest of data processing. I initially worked with IBM, of course. Then I 
passed to Amdhal, then at Wang and finally at DIGITAL. Do not ask me more, 
which OS, which software, I do not know anything of it. That functioned, and it 
was what is important to me. Until last year, I worked with DIGITAL machines, 
under VMS. With green screens. It was not very beautiful, but it was very fast. 
Then my son treated me of old fashionned man. He showed me a whole series of 
articles. In short, I bought SUN equipment, (I thought that this firm at which 
I sold many boilers made sun lotion!), I replaced my green screens by PC under 
Windows NT, I bought SAP. Since, it is the true nightmare. Systems SUN must 
stop all the time. I phoned SUN to complain. One asked me: how much time that 
does it happen ? I said "twice per month", and he was said to me that I was 
lucky and have a good team of data processing specialists. Systems NT have the 
funny ones of error messages. A so-called Doctor Watson all the time comes to 
prevent me from working. As for SAP, I wait to see the exit of the current 
lawsuit to consider to me also an action at law. I would like to say to you 
that for three months, I have had at least a stop per week, and some lasting 
several hours. I even had a day of complete stop. Previously, I had known three 
breakdowns. The first in 1952 prevented me from working during two hours. A 
spider had been crushed on the head of a magnetic tape reader. In 1968 I had a 
stop of a half-day. I broke all the contracts with Amdhal and gained a lawsuit 
of compensation for the half-day of layoff. In 1976 finally, still a breakdown. 
At midnight thirty. All the production was stopped. But one hour after a 
technician from DIGITAL was there, and a few minutes after all set out again.
I must say to you that I remember very well these three breakdowns. They 
extremely irritated me at the time. Up to now, I used 10 keys, PF1 to PF10. 
With PF1, I knew constantly the state of my stock PF2 gave me my exact sales 
turnover, PF3 my benefit, PF4 the figures of my best salesmen, PF5 the salesmen 
to be fired, PF6 the outputs of my employees, PF7 those to put at the step, PF8 
my financial statement, PF9 the rotation of my stock, and PF10.. the dividend 
which I could allot to me without problem. What more did I need ? Now, I have 
to fight 10 minutes, when the machines run, to get the results of the last 
month. In three months, I lost 25% of my sales turnover. I am perhaps 
fashionably, but I lose money. In short, come to take back your hardware. I do 
not want of it any more ! DIGITAL agrees to give in command system VAX. It will 
take me 15 years of expenses of maintenance at DIGITAL to arrive at the same 
amount that you ask me for your Unix/NT/SAP installation. I will undoubtedly 
have died by this time, and my son that I fired today will be able to then put 
the company in bankruptcy if he wants it. But I prefer being an old fashionned 
man rich and not stressed that a poor fashionably type and corroded by the 
concern of the breakdown. 
Bob Emerson. 
PS: I also fired the 7 people who dealt with machines SUN. With my DIGITAL in 
cluster, I had an old guy who made cross-words while  vaguely monitoring the 
machines. I took him again in my service. I do not speak about the 20 funny 
ones which dealt with the NT. Before I had just a technician who was installing 
the cables to the green screens. And to modernize me, I nevertheless will buy 
one or two amber screens. They are very beautiful. My technician spent 3 
minutes and 7 seconds to install one of them in my office.


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73!
Claude

http://www.qsl.net/f5pbl
http://www.qsl.net/soc

DIG #4451 - FISTS #7722 - SOC #503 - 10-X #71724