[SOC] Re: Bon appétit !!

[soc@mailman.qth.net]

And another old chestnut...

> The Smiths were unable to conceive children, and decided to use a
surrogate
> father to start their family. On the day the proxy father was to arrive,
Mr.
> Smith kissed his wife and said, "I'm off. The man should be here soon".
> Half an hour later, just by chance, a door-to-door baby photographer rang
> the doorbell, hoping to make a sale.
> "Good morning madam. I've come to......"
> "Oh, no need to explain. I've been expecting you," Mrs. Smith cut in.
> "Really?" the photographer asked. "Well, good! I've made a specialty of
> babies."
> "That's what my husband and I had hoped. Please come in and have a seat."
>  After a moment she asked, blushing, "Well, where do we start?"
> "Leave everything to me. I usually try two in the bathtub, one on the
couch
> and perhaps a couple on the bed. Sometimes the living room floor is fun
> too....you can really spread out!"
> "Bathtub, living room floor? No wonder it didn't work for Harry and me."
> "Well, madam, none of us can guarantee a good one every time. But if we
try
> several different positions and I shoot from six or seven angles, I'm
sure
> you'll be pleased with the results."
> "My, my, that's a lot of ..! ! ." gasped Mrs. Smith.
> "Madam, in my line of work, a man must take his time. I'd love to be in
and
> out in five minutes, but you'd be disappointed with that, I'm sure."
> "Don't I know it," Mrs. Smith muttered. The photographer opened his
> briefcase and pulled out a portfolio of his baby pictures.
> "This was done on the top of a bus."
> "Oh my god!!" Mrs. Smith exclaimed, tugging at her handkerchief.
> "And these twins turned out exceptionally well, when you consider their
> mother was so difficult to work with."
> "She was difficult ?" asked Mrs. Smith.
> "Yes, I'm afraid so. I finally had to take her to the park to get the job
> done right. People were crowding around four and five deep, pushing to
get
a
> good look."
> "Four and five deep?" asked Mrs. Smith, eyes widened in amazement.
> "Yes", the photographer said. "And for more than three hours, too. The
> mother was constantly squealing and yelling - I could hardly concentrate!
> Then darkness approached and I began to rush my shots. Finally, when the
> squirrels began nibbling on my equipment, I just packed it all in."
> Mrs. Smith leaned forward. "You mean they actually chewed on your
> um...equipment ?"
> "That's right. Well, madam, if you're ready, I'll set up my tripod so
that
> we can get to work"
> "Tripod??
> "Oh yes, I have to use a tripod to rest my Canon on. It's much too big
for
> me to hold very long. Madam?
>
> "Madam?... ..Good Lord, she's fainted!!
>
> >
>