[R-390] My REAL Life

[rbethman]

I have endured a *mental load* that is unbelievable.

The tail of 2011, My wonderful wife, quite a lady, began getting very ill.

She began having severe Gastroenteritis.  It is commonly called GERD.  
The fluids from the stomach would rise up into her throat.

The very first test with a Barium Swallow while in a CAT scan, showed 
that she never got even close to horizontal before it had rose all the 
way up to the top of the throat.

It indeed caused Pneumonia.

She went to the Gastric Specialist whom told the two of us flat out, 
"You can easily die in your sleep.".

*Wonderful!*

Dealing with this meant a fight with insurance.  Documenting every 
little thing that pointed to the necessity to have the requisite surgery.

The head of the bed was raised over 6" to no avail.

Things only got worse.

Finally, in early 2012 progress was being made, but she definitely 
needed to lose more weight.

She really took it to heart and shed enough weight.

Insurance insists she goes through a one year series of counseling.

She was sent by the specialist to a Psychologist.  The findings were in 
her favor.

Still fight with insurance.

It took until the end of 2012 until the surgery finally got approved.  
She had the Gastric Bypass done around the 3rd of December.

*I've watched all of this.  I've aided her in any way possible.**
**
**I lived with constant fear that I may lose her.**
*
Since the procedure, it has not been any easier.  Foods either agree 
with her, or they do not.

When they don't she ends up vomiting.  Loss of any nutrition and 
sometimes her medications.

A food that agrees suddenly doesn't any more.

Repeat above once more.  More concern.

I am constantly nursing her.  It won't stop until one of us passes.

*Physically* I am a mess in more ways than I can remember. Type II 
Diabetes has struck.

Cholesterol has been an issue for 20 or more years.

High blood pressure is always an issue.

I once had a Medical Certificate that allowed me the ability to fly 
aircraft.

The Fall of '96 I, along with my wife, talk to our Family Physician.

He prescribes a Serotonin Uptake Inhibitor.

This is off label use.  It takes away the explosive verbal temper.  A 
delay is now there.  I think first.

This and the entire series of medications are called Psychotropic 
Medications.

I knew that if I list this on my Certificate Application that it will 
NOT be approved.

I could simply have left it off.  Some Commercial pilots that take you 
where you fly to do just that!

I refuse to do this.  I simply do not apply for another one.  It would 
be dishonest and a lie.  I say again, I refuse.

One of the things I dearly love/loved is gone forever.

Early last year, I along with a close family friend tear down and haul 
away the original shed that was here when we moved in.

Two trips with loads on his trailer.

We cut it up, load it on the trailer, haul it to the city disposal 
facility.  We unload it the same way it was loaded, all by brute force.

Repeat this for round two.

Total weight exceed 3,000 Lbs.

The not often felt pain in the back is now full blown and every single day.

The new shed built by a High School Class as a project to teach them a 
job that they can do, is delivered in multiple loads.

Takes six to eight class members to load the trailer.  The close family 
friend is *the* class teacher.

He and I unload what took all those youngsters.  Top it off that it took 
us significantly less time to do it.

This takes about five or six loads to get prefabricated walls, doors, 
gables, and roof frames.

I spend about four days manually moving the floor frames to allow the 
placement of hardware cloth to the bottom for keeping out critters that 
may decide to try and chew through floor from below.

The date comes when the class arrives to assemble it.

I work right alongside them.

The painting goes on, up and down ladders, getting on the roof, lay 
felt, and lay shingles.

The tasks all get finished.  I go to see the Sports Medicine Physician 
that is part of the same Family Practice Center that my Family Physician 
runs and sees patients since that itself is his true calling and he will 
NOT give up seeing patients.

*Diagnosis:*  Arthritis from the top to the bottom of the entire spine.

*Cure:* None

*Possible relief:*  Pain medications

Percocet will take a bit of the edge off.  Side effect: Can't sleep 
while it is working.

Vicodin takes the edge off a bit better.  I don't like being on pain 
killers all the time.

Therefore I live with a level of pain that can't be understood by the 
masses!

My pain threshold is very high.  Guess what, this is beyond this threshold!

My family Physician simply says, "If Bob is in pain, you had better dart 
him like you were darting an elephant.

That sums it up.

*SUMMATION: *I live a personal hell both mentally and physically.

None of it will alter until I finally cease to live.

Welcome to Bob's life!

Try it on for the time I've been doing it.

Probable lifespan?  My grandfather passed on at 84 due to a TIA that 
caused him to fall backward and he struck his head on the tub, died of a 
massive cerebral hemorrhage.

My grandmother passed on at 86.  She had dementia due to hip surgery and 
being an age that ALWAYS results in brain issues!

I am 64.  My Mother was 18 when I was born in June.  Her birthday falls 
in October.

She is still living.

It would appear that I will continue for about two more decades.

What a way to live..................

N0DGN