[Milsurplus] Really OT, Just for Fun: Most Annoying Christmas Songs

[David Stinson]

One of my other hobbies is writing songs.
You have been warned...

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Christmas Time is Here??
copyright david stinson 2009

Christmas time is here.
Shopping trips are near.
All my money's down the drain
so I'm crying in my beer...

Sleigh bells in the air,
but I'm in deep despair.
The wife has got my credit card
spending money every-where.

Children in my hair,
red-ink everywhere,
I don't know if I can stand
more ties and underwear.

Christmas time is near.
Time for joy and cheer.
But not for me
it's a misery 
'cuz the bills will come right here!

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All I Want for (an old-fashioned) Christmas
copyright david and cathy stinson 2009

All I want for Christmas is my hip replaced,
my knee replaced
and a new back brace.
Gee, if I could get the doc to lift my face,
then I could have a geriatric Christmas!

I just can't wait 'till I can say:
"Bring me some Metamucil, Santa."
Gosh oh gee, how happy I'd be
with a bottle of Viagra!
ooooooooooo....

All I want for Christmas is my hip replaced,
my knee replaced
and a new back brace.
Maybe I could bend and tie my own shoe lace
if I could have a geriatric Christmas!

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Oh Come, All Ye Morons
copyright david stinson 2009

Oh come, all ye morons.
Every silly red-neck.
Oh come, ye, oh come ye
to Waaaal-Mart!

Come and buy Christmas.
Pour money out like water.

Oh come and be a dummy.
Oh come and be a doo-fuss.
Oh come and be a lemming
at Waaaaaal-Mart!