[HCRA] Fw: [YCCC] A Wife Strategy for Contesters

[Daniel J. Sullivan]

<aybe the wives will sing in with thoughts?

Dan S.

----- Original Message ----- 
From: "Rick Lindquist, N1RL" <n1rl at earthlink.net>
To: "'Daniel J. Sullivan'" <djs13 at hotmail.com>; "'VWS Reflector'"
<vws at viennawireless.org>
Cc: "'HCRA Maillist'" <hcra at mailman.qth.net>
Sent: Tuesday, February 21, 2006 8:21 PM
Subject: RE: [HCRA] Fw: [YCCC] A Wife Strategy for Contesters


> Dunno. That last paragraph sounds pretty serious and worthy of
> attention.
>
> -----Original Message-----
> From: hcra-bounces at mailman.qth.net [mailto:hcra-bounces at mailman.qth.net]
> On Behalf Of Daniel J. Sullivan
> Sent: Tuesday, February 21, 2006 8:15 PM
> To: VWS Reflector
> Cc: HCRA Maillist
> Subject: [HCRA] Fw: [YCCC] A Wife Strategy for Contesters
>
> ______________________________________________
> -------Hampden County Radio Association-------
> -----------e-mail list (reflector)-------------
> ______________________________________________
> A very funny thread with the wife's point of view included!
>
> Dan S
> KO1D
>
> ----- Original Message ----- 
>
> Sent: Tuesday, February 21, 2006 4:28 PM
> Subject: Re: [YCCC] A Wife Strategy for Contesters
>
>
> > Oh, this cracks me up. The wife has no hobbies? CAn't
> > you send her away to mom's for the weekend? Get her a
> > room at the beach with the kids? A weekend in Boston?
> > Common! You bought a ton or radio equipment. Let her
> > shop!
> >
> > AT my house before I was a ham, the man was boss (ex
> > that is). If he said to leave him alone, I did.
> >
> > I think people need to give your wife something she
> > wants. Hire a sitter for the weekend. Send the kids to
> > grandma's and let the wife go shopping. What an easy
> > sell. Stop whining about the wife. If she is stuck
> > with the kids it doesn't take a rocket scientist to
> > figure out that is why she is unhappy. Send her away
> > for a weekend and she will love you. EAsy.
> >
> > The best idea is make her a ham. I am one, so the
> > proof is that it is possible and I am blond!
> >
> > Ham radio takes people away from kids. Swap kids for
> > the weekend with friends...USE YOUR IMAGINATION!
> >
> > The whole love thing has to do with basic respect. Any
> > home where there is no balance spells trouble. I can
> > tell you as a previous stay at home mom, yes, the job
> > is easy, but the kids 24x7 makes a woman nuts. So, to
> > sell contesting, let the woman off from the kids, go
> > somewhere, and you can contest your ass off. Get them
> > all out of the house. Problem solved. Next....
> >
> > Lisa N1ice
> >
> >
> >
> > --- Jim Idelson k1ir wrote:
> >
> > > > I have constant distractions while trying to
> > > operate.  I have a wife who
> > > can't understand why I contest no matter how I
> > > explain this. She still thinks
> > > she should stop by ever hour to talk and distract
> > > me. About ever 3 hours she
> > > insist I get off the radio.  I also have kids 5 and
> > > 9 coming by, wanting to
> > > help, needing help,  being board, flipping switches,
> > > and letting the dog out .
> > > . . <
> > >
> > > Ok, Dave. The Doctor is IN. We need to talk about
> > > this whole Wife thing.
> > >
> > > You have a Station Strategy. You have an Operating
> > > Strategy. To be an effective
> > > contester, you must also have a Wife Strategy.
> > >
> > > A Wife is the most important person in a contester's
> > > life. She has complete
> > > control over the contester's ability to be
> > > competitive. She actually has
> > > control of both of your critical resources - Money
> > > and Time. You know that and
> > > She knows that.
> > >
> > > So, if you expect to do well you must be treated
> > > well by your Wife. How do you
> > > accomplish that? You must go out of your way to make
> > > sure your Wife is Happy.
> > > All good things flow from having a Happy Wife. To
> > > make a Happy Wife, you need
> > > to understand how a Wife works. A Wife has a limited
> > > set of basic needs:
> > > -  Security
> > > -  Love
> > > -  Evidence of above
> > >
> > > There are a few other facts about a Wife that you
> > > need to know.
> > > -  A Wife is very conscious of Her Feelings. She
> > > knows when She is Happy and
> > > when she is Sad.
> > > -  Only Her Feelings matter. It doesn't matter what
> > > she thinks about you, your
> > > buddies or contesting.
> > > -  She needs to share Her Feelings with everyone in
> > > Her environment. If She is
> > > Happy, everyone else must be Happy. Same for Sad.
> > > -  A Wife's Feelings have a half-life of 6-12 hours.
> > > [Under certain conditions
> > > this can be as low as 20 minutes.]
> > > -  As the Feelings diminish, external stimulus can
> > > regenerate them.
> > > -  Larger amounts of stimulus can generate higher
> > > levels of Feelings [let's
> > > remain focused on Happy Feelings here]. But,
> > > remember that the half-life is
> > > still dominant.
> > > -  The transition from Happy to Sad is not smooth.
> > > Each Wife has a unique
> > > Feelings Transition Point [FTP]. You will need to
> > > perform experiments to
> > > determine this point for your specific Wife.
> > >
> > > Next concepts to understand:
> > > -  Secure + Loved = Happy [Happy includes Relaxed,
> > > Self-Sufficient, Trusting,
> > > Empathetic]
> > > -  Insecure + Not Loved = Sad [Sad includes
> > > Stressed, Needy, Suspicious,
> > > Antagonistic]
> > >
> > > You provide Her with Security and Love. No doubt
> > > about that. But, does the way
> > > you do it match the particular needs of your
> > > specific Wife? Have you pushed Her
> > > Feelings level high enough so that you can get
> > > through a contest before She has
> > > to face Her FTP?
> > >
> > > Practical Techniques - Security
> > > -  Overtly state that you are there for your Wife
> > > and Kids
> > > -  Make and keep family commitments
> > > -  Assure your Wife that you will spend time with
> > > Her at a specific date and
> > > time
> > > -  Demonstrate your commitment to Her security - fix
> > > something in the house,
> > > buy furniture
> > >
> > > Practical Techniques - Love
> > > -  Overtly declare your love for your Wife [ok if
> > > done privately with Her;
> > > creates even higher level of Happy Feelings if done
> > > in front of others]
> > > -  Romantic gifts are effective - flowers, cards,
> > > photographs, jewelry. Note
> > > that item cost does not have a dramatic impact.
> > > -  S*x - [Be careful with this one during the
> > > contest, particularly in multi's]
> > >
> > > Practical Techniques - Timing and Frequency
> > > -  Bear in mind that effects of simultaneous actions
> > > do not tend to be
> > > additive.
> > > -  Sequential actions tend to be cummulative.
> > > -  Spread it out.
> > > -  Ramp up in the week prior to the contest.
> > > -  A major push on Thursday night is usually a good
> > > tactic, followed by actions
> > > timed at 3-4 hour intervals right up to the start of
> > > the contest.
> > > -  Set and meet expectations in the days following
> > > the contest.
> > >
> > > Advanced Tip #1
> > > -  Anticipate the possiblity that FTP may still
> > > occur during the contest
> > > period. What can you do?
> > > -  Take action during the contest. Invest in a
> > > momentary Security or Love Boost
> > > during a low-rate hour.
> > > -  This investment can be very powerful. She knows
> > > you prefer to be in front of
> > > the radio. When you come upstairs for as little as
> > > one minute just to say you
> > > Love Her, Her Happy Feelings level will soar
> > > [temporarily]. But you have
> > > potentially fended off a major onslaught, just by
> > > helping Her stay comfortably
> > > above FTP.
> > >
> > > Advanced Tip #2
> > > -  Understand that regularity is not always the best
> > > state of affairs.
> > > -  A temporary absence may help reinforce the value
> > > of your presence.
> > > -  Occassional smaller gifts may help reinforce the
> > > value of your presents.
> > > -  Be careful. Always try to stay above FTP;
> > > experiment with this concept
> > > judiciously.
> > >
> > > Advanced Tips #3A and #3B
> > > -  Remember that the Kids are simply an extension of
> > > the Wife.
> > > -  A - Focus on the Wife and She will take care of
> > > the Kids.
> > > -  B - Focusing on the Kids directly impacts Wife
> > > Happy levels. A good
> > > 'under-the-radar' strategy.
> > >
> > > Advanced Tip #4
> > > -  Surprise Her sometimes
> > > -  Planned and expected actions that make Her feel
> > > Secure and Loved are great,
> > > but the same actions done spontaneously or
> > > unexpectedly have higher impact.
> > > -  For several weeks, She has been asking you to
> > > repair the leaky kitchen
> > > faucet. You have choices: a) next time She asks, you
> > > say ok and do it, b) when
> > > She is out, you take three hours to fix it and She
> > > is pleasantly surprised when
> > > She discovers what you've done, or c) when She is
> > > out, you have a plumber fix
> > > it while you build a new amplifier, and when She
> > > discovers the repair She is
> > > pleasantly surprised AND She compliments you on the
> > > superb quality of your
> > > work.
> > >
> > > Summary
> > > -  Your Wife is critical to your contesting efforts
> > > -  Adopt a Wife Strategy
> > > -  Understand the interplay of Security and Love
> > > with Happy and Sad
> > > -  Be aware of your Wife's FTP
> > > -  Apply a variety of techniques
> > > -  Keep it up year-round
> > > -  Submit better contest scores
> > > -  Apply beyond contesting
> > >
> > > 73,
> > >
> > > Jim Idelson K1IR
> > > email    k1ir at designet.com
> > > web    http://www.k1ir.com
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