[Hallicrafters] Noah's Ark To Host Halli Sunday Net!

[Duane Fischer, W8DBF]

It is Summer, right? This morning while enjoying my orange juice I made the 
mistake of turning on my vintage 1989 Bearcat/Uniden eighteen channel 
programable scanner. It locked onto the NOAA weather frequency of 162.475 
MHZ and announced it was 58 F outside! Then to add insult to goose bumps, 
advised me to dress warm as the high was only going to be in the sixties and 
to expect a possible new record low tonight! Did I sleep through a season or 
has the current administration started to take away how many warm days we 
are now alloted for Summer?

Trying to transform a grim, cloudy and cold day into something more 
pleasant, I came upon what follows. Enjoy! Here is hoping to hear many of 
you tomorrow for the Sunday July 19th HHI 20 meter Net.

  If Your Bit Bucket Has A digital Hole, Start Treading H2O!


                                  By Duane B. Fischer, W8DBF


As those of you who have been watching the Whether Weather
channel observed, Michigan has been getting hammered like a
peg on a Play School work bench the past two days.  I had to
flush the rain gauge, twice! This large storm dropped anchor
over MI and emptied the ballast tanks! It thundered on and
off from Thursday evening until after sunrise this morning.
Then the Sun hung the clouds out to drip dry!

It was so overcast, that my DSS system failed and I missed
both Babble The King Of The Elephants and Rainbow Trout
Scout. I do not pay HBO Family to be disappointed, I get
enough of that from the taxes I pay for services the township
never delivers on!

     I knew I was in trouble, when Frogzilla floated by atop
the wooden outhouse from the girl Scout camp down the road!
By the grin on his face, I got the feeling that it just might
have been occupied when it took to the sea! He had his
Captain Nemo hat on and was shouldering a harpoon gun loaded
with a toilet plunger. Right behind him came three wooden
picnic tables with smoking camp site grills riding high and
dry. Some of the smaller Frogs were using Ping-pong paddles
trying to steer the  picnic tables as the current  carried
them along. Others were busily flipping Watercress
patties stuffed with Mosquitoes marinated in Jack Daniel's
bourbon. I wonder what the Girl Scout counselors were doing
with bourbon?  Cleansing wounds, no doubt!

     Well unless the waters recede, the thunder stops
rattling the fillings in my teeth and the lightning quits
roasting the transformers on the utility poles like overdone
marshmallows over a Girl Scout camp fire using a propane tank
equipped with an afterburner, there will not be an all you
can swallow deep fried Mosquito buffet at the HHI Pond for
any amphibian of the Order Salientia with Ranidae family
relatives showing their ARRL membership card. Or for that
matter, any humans aboard a self-inflating Navy surplus life
raft clutching a Swiss Steak TV dinner and shouting if anyone
had a light!

I am down to my last ten gallons of gasoline for the Generac
generator and I can't find the neighbor's van to siphon any
more! The creep must have moved it.

     If the water in the backyard goes down enough so I can
flush the toilet without creating clouds of smelly bubbles,
if the little Frogletts in amphibian survival training unhook
the blasted life boats from my 20 meter trap on the vertical,
and if I can convince the pizza delivery girl to swim over
here with a double pepperoni with extra cheese, then I will
be on the air for the HHI net!

     So just in case, float on by at 12:45 PM EST/EDT, 1645
UTC), for the frequency sump pump scum sucking session. Then
cast your fate to the wind and drop your Boat's anchor at
1:15 PM EST/EDT, (1715 UTC).  Remember the frequency is
14.293 +/- for key clicks, your dog's Ticks, mike splatter
and adjacent excessive chatter, from Shamoo the capacitor
crunching killer Snail!  If you can't make it for that bit of
nautical fun and boat anchor dropping, then cruise on by
between 1:15 PM EDT, (1715 UTC), until 2:59 PM, (1859 UTC)
for the marine life segment.  Here you can listen as I try to
key the mike, write notes on waterproof Braille paper and
ride a Sea Horse on loan from Sea World because unlike some
mortals, I can not walk on water!  If that is not enough to
get you out of the suit bleaching chlorinated swimming pool,
off the bacteria contaminated beach, out of the Mustang
convertible before the Cops realize it is stolen, and in
front of your hotter than a Hog in a sona Halli, then
consider this.  Frogzilla will be offering full color glossy
prints of his Frogship, web auto-footed by himself and
eighteenth cousin Kermit, along with a collection of tales
from the Frogzilla Files, to some lucky check in tomorrow!
And all you have to do is take your medication like the
Psychiatrist ordered and promise not to break any dishes if
the cook catches you trying to sneak a peak down her top and
dumps your hot Clam chowder in your tank top pocket!

     This could be more fun than a water balloon fight at a
water soluble makeup artists convention! So loosen up those
electronic paddles, wade on in and bring a bucket to bail the
boat anchor out with. At the rate I am going, maybe to bail
me out too! Did brother Noah's Ark have a brig? Just don't
try to bail your boat with a bit bucket gone bottomless!


Duane Fischer, W8DBF - WPE8CXO
E-Mail: dfischer at usol.com
Hallicrafters web site: www.w9wze.net
HHRP web site: hhrp.w9wze.net