[GreenKeys] Telephone song

[Jim Haynes]

At one time I was trying to track down the music that introduced the
Bell Telephone Hour radio and TV programs.  The conductor of the
orchestra was Donald Voorhees (1903-1989) of New Jersey.  I believe
he also composed the theme music for the Bell Telephone programs
which ran from 1942 on radio to 1968 on TV.  (this from Wikipedia)
There are a few clips of Bell Telephone Hour broadcasts on YouTube.

At the time I was asking about that, someone mentioned another,
less serious, telephone song, but I seem to have lost it.

Now in the green keys department, we have



 	Song of the Teletype

 	by Virgil Smith

 	Occasionally electrical disturbances as well as mechanical
 	failures disrupt the smooth flow of news on the national
 	teletype circuits of the news services.  When a teletype
 	operator sees that an item he is punching out correctly
 	is being jumbled in transmission, he sends "bust it."
 	which means throw it away and we'll start over.  Before
 	starting over, however, he usually sends the "quick brown
 	fox" sentence - which contains every letter of the alphabet -
 	to make sure that the machine is working right.  Some of
 	the jumble in this poem was actually picked off a news
 	machine in the office of the Portland Oregonian one
 	static-charged night.

 		In the wire room, where the teletype
 		Brings in the news by day and night
 		"Clack-clackety-clack," like a train on a track
 		Static is a foe, an editor's woe.
 		When the northlights flash or the sun spots glow
 		Jumbling the words on the news machine
 		Into hit and miss, something like this:
 		Strum ditty boom - by ninety-seven wained
 		Hamp city trilled, norses maned
 		Shang dang fro dough, neder vent
 		I m dard kaptured, dree pay sent
 		On ritish gains
 				wust it
 					bust it....Oh,
 		The quick brown fox jumps over the lazy dog's back.
 		This is the song of the teletype.

 		When blizzards howl, and gang guns bark
 		New battles rage - what a night! -
 		That's when this thing goes, "Ding, ding ding,
 		Ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding."
 		They're "hits" on the wire: the bell's to inquire:
 		"Where's the trouble? Get it fixed on the double."
 		For the wire room's grist looks like this:
 			Goo fanny rand, nightly rains,
 			Z noo rilled, aeroplanz
 			Northlight, sight bit, main line vent
 			Rum do dad da, tailpiece bent,
 			Wust it
 				tust it
 					shust it
 						bust it! Oh,
 		The quick brown fox jumps over the lazy dog's back.
 		This is the song of the teletype.


[from the Saturday Evening Post, 13 January 1951, p. 88]
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