[FADCA] I'm Alive

Fri, 12 Mar 2004 00:29:32 -0500

Doug, it may be too late, but:

Upgrading To Wife 1.0

Be careful when trying to execute this update! It might backfire on you
just like this guy.

Dear Tech Support:

Last year I upgraded from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0. I soon noticed that
the new program began unexpected child processing that took up a lot of
space and valuable resources.

In addition, Wife 1.0 installed itself into all other programs and now
monitors all other system activity. Applications such as Poker Night 10.3,
Football 5.0, Hunting and Fishing 7.5, and Racing 3.6 no longer run,
crashing
the system whenever selected. I can't seem to keep Wife 1.0 in the
background
while attempting to run my favorite applications. I'm thinking about going
back
to Girlfriend 7.0, but the uninstall doesn't work on Wife 1.0.

 Please help!

 Thanks,
 A Troubled User.

 REPLY:
Dear Troubled User:

This is a very common problem that men complain about.
Many people upgrade from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0, thinking that it is
just a Utilities and Entertainment program.
Wife 1.0 is an OPERATING SYSTEM and is designed by its Creator to run
EVERYTHING!!! It is also impossible to delete Wife 1.0 and to return to
Girlfriend 7.0. It is impossible to uninstall, or purge the program files
from the system once installed.

You cannot go back to Girlfriend 7.0 because Wife 1.0 is designed to not
allow this.

Look in your Wife 1.0 manual under Warnings-Alimony/Child Support." I
recommend that you keep Wife1.0 and work on improving the situation. I
suggest installing the background application "Yes Dear" to alleviate
software augmentation.

The best course of action is to enter the command C: \ APOLOGIZE. Because
ultimately you will have to give the APOLOGIZE command before the system
will return to normal anyway.

Wife 1.0 is a great! program, but it tends to be very high maintenance.
Wife 1.0 comes with several support programs, such as Clean and Sweep 3.0,
Cook
It 1.5 and Do Bills 4.2.

However, be very careful how you use these programs. Improper use will
cause the system to launch the program Nag Nag 9.5. Once this happens, the
only
way to improve the performance of Wife 1.0 is to purchase additional
software. I recommend Flowers 2.1 and Diamonds 5.0 !

WARNING!!!
DO NOT, under any circumstances, install Secretary With Short Skirt 3.3.
This application is not supported by Wife 1.0 and will cause irreversible
damage to the operating system.

 Best of luck,
 Tech Support

----- Original Message ----- 
From: "Doug Christ" <[email protected]>
To: <[email protected]>
Sent: Thursday, March 11, 2004 9:04 PM
Subject: RE: [FADCA] I'm Alive

> My wife was watching me typing the message so I had to
> state that I was enjoying myself Chuck.
>
> Doug
>
> --- [email protected] wrote:
> > Doug Christ wrote:
> > > Hi everyone.
> > >
> > > Just a quick note to let everyone know that I am
> > > enjoying my vacation in the Washington DC area. I
> > have
> > > seen some winter weather while I have been here
> > (big
> > > thrill for a Florida boy). I should be back in
> > state
> > > by early next week. I been reading the emails and
> > it
> > > looks like everyone is busy.
> > >
> >
> > Anyting above 28 North (runs parallel to
> > Hillsborough
> > Ave. in Tampa about 1 block north of the road)
> > should
> > require hazard pay in this boy's mind. You are WAY
> > north of there, and enjoying it?!?!?
> >
> >
> >
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> > you may have printed and
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> > drive. Opinions, conclusions
> > and other information in this message that do not
> > relate to the official
> > business of Utility Partners, Inc shall be
> > understood as neither given nor
> > endorsed by it.
> >
> > Visit us on the web at http://www.utilpart.com
> >
> *****************************************************************
> >
> >
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