[CW] Old CW War Stories

[K0HB]

>
> I thought I would ask the group, does anyone know of a website that is 
> like dedicated to posting CW stories, like from Maritime
> Service, or anything along that line.
>
> I cant seem to get enough reading of these "old sea stories" for some 
> reason.
>
> Bob AD5VJ
>


Radiomen

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

by Bob 'Dex' Armstrong


In the old gravel-gut boat service, your only link with the civilized world 
was via the radio shack. A cubby hole on Requin aft of the scope wells in 
the control room... It was the home of the spark shufflers.

If you were in tight with a radioman, you could get ball scores. Sewer pipe 
sailors lost touch with the teams they followed... A hazard common to 
submarine sailors and people who take a moon walk and miss the ride home. 
Actually, we lost touch with just about everything. In the war movies when 
they come across some guy who claims to be an American, they ask him 
questions only an American could answer. If they had picked me up and asked 
me anything but (A) The names of Roy's and Gene's horses (B) Who won World 
War II and (C) Blaze Starr's bust size, I would have been one 'up the creek' 
sonuvabitch. Hell, we didn't know Jack Kennedy was the president until we 
snorkeled a day later.

Only a complete idiot would make a bet with a radioman. Chances were, the 
radioman had the final score before you tossed your wampum on the mess 
table.

I remember one great night brought to us by the spark pushers in the radio 
shack.

We had finished whatever nonsense they sent us out to do and were making 
turns for home. The Old Man opened the showers... Guys were bumming razor 
blades and rooting around in side lockers for something that would pass for 
a towel. Next thing you know, the foo-foo juice came out. Now there's a myth 
that all smoke boat sailors eventually bought into, sooner or later... Aqua 
Velva was never meant to disguise poor personal hygiene. No matter how much 
of the stuff you poured on a dungaree shirt you had been inside of for two 
weeks, you were still one disgustingly foul smelling sonuvabitch. You could 
spray French perfume on an engineman with a fire hose and buzzards would 
still circle around the bastard when he went topside. But I digress...

A group of us were sitting around in the crew's mess drinking coffee and 
ragging guys heading fore and aft. A radioman came in and told us we were in 
for one helluva good laugh. He monkeyed around with the RBO and patched it 
into something in the radio shack.

For those of you who never had the pleasure of riding diesel boats or other 
seagoing steel-hulled garbage scows, I must explain something here.

You could make phone calls from a ship at sea. Here is how it worked. The 
radioman would raise someone ashore called a 'marine operator'. Then the 
radioman would give the marine operator the name and phone number of whoever 
the bluejacket aboard ship wanted to call. The marine operator would then 
place a collect call and when the party answered and accepted the charges, 
the marine operator would form a radio link with the ship and 'Bill the 
Bluejacket' could talk to his sweetie.

>From sweetie to the marine operator was private and confidential... From the 
marine operator to Barnacle Bill, it was up for grabs... Great evening 
entertainment.

"Poopsie, is that you?"

"Yes ducky doo, it's me."

"You miss me, peach blossom?"

"Oh yes... YES, darling!"

"Miss me a lot?"

"Oh, I miss you soooo much I can't wait to hold you and..."

"Okay darling... Are you going to meet the ship?"

"No sweetheart, I parked the car in the pier head lot... Keys are under the 
mat."

"Why aren't you meeting the boat, sweetheart?"

"Oh, it was supposed to be a surprise... If you must know, the kids are 
spending the night with the Webbers. I bought a new nightie and I figured 
we'd break it in tonight."

The animals would cheer,

"LET'S HEAR IT FOR MAMMA AND HER NEW NIGHTIE!!"

And so it went. Bluejackets phoning in after six months in the Med... Great 
entertainment.

"Darlin' can't wait... Just you and me and a can of Crisco!"

We heard it all... It was great... Laugh after laugh. A very memorable 
evening... Best and cheapest fun we ever had on Requin.

There were times... Moments that we took for granted and that passed with 
little notice. It's funny how they come back late in life when you have the 
time to reshuffle your memories... The collected moments that constitute 
your life.

Radiomen linked us with the world. Another thing we just took for granted 
and that was so damned important looking back. Never thanked them... Should 
have.

Great guys, all of them.


73, de Hans, K0HB
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