[ARC5] OT: Kenwood TS-830S

[Roy Morgan]

On Mar 23, 2016, at 11:10 AM, Don Merz via ARC5 <arc5 at mailman.qth.net> wrote:

> Is old-fashioned white vinegar better or worse than Deoxit?
> Boy, for the chemically-inclined writers among us, a comparison article 
> is BEGGING to be written.

Don,

Don’t say *anything* until the groundbreaking new product can be officially released, but:

There is in development a new cure all for radios and especially switches.  This stuff is claimed to solve all intermittent switch and terminal contact problems forever, eliminate the need to actually make adjustments during alignment, and improve the clarity of sound when listening to contests or foreign short wave broadcasts.  It will also completely eliminate any danger from Hanta Virus left behind by former mouse residents, remove all nicotine odor and stains, and even restore Kenwood TS-440 radios to full operation that have died with the dreaded all-decimals display problem.

It’s quite secret so far, but the main ingredient is rumored to be dew from the night blooming cereus plant that grows only in the Amazon Jungle in remote locations.  They have to get innocent virgins to harvest the dew because it’s a very delicate procedure, and only untainted innocent young damsels can be trusted to do it right, and not defile the potency of the harvested dew.  This has held up production because apparently there aren’t enough qualified damsels in Africa.

The mixture will also include tears from poisinous Australian Desert snakes, the pollen dust from rare and seldom seen flowers that bloom only every 5 years in Antarctica, and the vapors from a particular extra strong Vodka sourced only from distilleries located in the remote  Siberian Steppes.

The quantity will of course be very limited, especially at first, and thus the price will have to be set accordingly.  There is a rumor that payment can only be made with “postage stamps” that went missing from QSL card envelopes sent to central European hams over the last decade.  How us common folks are going to find those missing dollar bills, I have no idea.  But we’ll need a lot of them.

The word circulating in the underground circles of Wall Street has it that the research and development of this new astounding radio treatment compound was funded by an unidentified ham who was awarded multiple million dollars from a secret lost bank account in Tangiers.  He was apparently contacted by email from a benevolent Upper Secretary of Government Finances in an African country he’s not at liberty to reveal.  The research has  been done on credit and speculation, apparently, because the transfer of the millions of dollars has been held up by some bureaucratic technicality that will be cleared up soon.

Although product release dates have not been set just yet, we can expect announcements of this groundbreaking development soon.

In the meantime, I expect to be using the De-Oxit I have here.  For instance, I have a new-to-me sweep generator whose power switch is inoperative (never closes to put power on.)  I hope to find an opening or drill a hole in the switch body to insert a squirt of the now-outmoded De-Oxit.

We can all hope for a better future!

Roy

Roy Morgan
k1lky68 at gmail.com
K1LKY Since 1958