[TWIAR] News Flash: Earth leaving orbit - Hurling towards sun

[Greg Williams]

At least according to the NWS office in Kansas City:

Before it gets taken down (they're bound to notice the Fark hits):
NON PRECIPITATION STATEMENT
URGENT - WEATHER MESSAGE
NATIONAL WEATHER SERVICE KANSAS CITY-PLEASANT HILL MO
1055 AM CST WED DEC 17 2003

...TEST...TEST...TEST...

.UNUSUALLY HOT WEATHER HAS ENTERED THE REGION FOR DECEMBER...AS THE
EARTH HAS LEFT ITS ORBIT AND IS HURLING TOWARD THE SUN.

MOZ012-021-172251-
ANDREW MO-CLINTON MO-
1055 AM CST WED DEC 17 2003

...EXCESSIVE HEAT WATCH IN EFFECT FROM THIS AFTERNOON TO LATE
TONIGHT...

UNUSUALLY HOT WEATHER WILL OCCUR FOR AT LEAST THE NEXT SEVERAL DAYS
AS THE EARTH DRAWS EVER NEARER TO THE SUN. THEREFORE...AN EXCESSIVE
HEAT WATCH HAS BEEN POSTED.

STAY TUNED TO NOAA WEATHER RADIO AND OTHER LOCAL MEDIA FOR FURTHER
DETAILS OR UPDATES.

$$
HEINLEIN

Greg Williams
k4hsm@lock-net.com

Tis often better to be silent and thought a fool rather than to speak and
remove all doubt.
No trees were destroyed in the sending of this contaminant-free message
We do concede, a significant number of electrons may have been
inconvenienced.