[TRCFR] Jokes

[TRCFR]

WOMEN BASHING JOKES 

 * How many men does it take to open a beer? 
 None. 
 It should be opened by the time she brings it. 

 * Why is a Laundromat a really bad place to 
 pick up a woman? 
 Because a woman who can`t even afford a 
 washing machine will probably never be able to support you.  
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 * Why do women have smaller feet than men? 
 It`s one of those "evolutionary things" that 
 allows them to stand closer 
 to the kitchen sink. 
 
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 * How do you know when a woman is about to 
 say something smart? 
 When she starts her sentence with "A man once 
 told me." 
 
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 * How do you fix a woman`s watch? 
 You don`t. There is a clock on the oven. 

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 * If your dog is barking at the back door and 
 your wife is yelling at the front door, whom do you let in first? 
 The dog of course. He`ll shut up once you let 
 him in. 
 
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 * What`s worse than a Male Chauvinist Pig? 
 A woman that won`t do what she`s told. 

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* I married Miss Right. 
 I just didn`t know her first name was Always. 
 
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 * I haven`t spoken to my wife for 18 months: 
 I don`t like to interrupt her. 
 
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 * What do you call a woman who has lost 95% 
 of her intelligence? 
 Divorced. 
 
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 * Scientists have discovered a food that 
 diminishes a woman`s sex drive by 90%. 
 It is called Wedding Cake. 
 
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 * Marriage is a 3-ring circus: 
 Engagement Ring, Wedding Ring, Suffering. 

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 * Our last fight was my fault. 
 My wife asked me "What`s on the TV?" 
 I said,"Dust!" 
 
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 * In the beginning, God created the earth and 
 rested. 
 Then God created Man and rested. Then God 
 created Woman. Since then, 
 neither God nor Man has rested. 
 
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 * Why do men die before their wives? 
 They want to. 
 
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 * A beggar walked up to a well-dressed woman 
 shopping on Rodeo Drive and 
 said, "I haven`t eaten anything in four days." 
 She looked at him and said, "God, I wish I had your willpower." 
 
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 * Young Son: "Is it true, Dad, I heard that 
 in some parts of Africa a man 
 doesn`t know his wife until he marries her?" 
 Dad: "That happens in every country, son." 

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 * A man inserted an advertisement in the 
 classified: 
 "Wife Wanted.." The next day he received a 
 hundred letters. They all said the same thing: "You can have mine." 

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 * The most effective way to remember your 
 wife`s birthday? 
 Forget it once. 
 
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 * Women will never be equal to men until: 
 They can walk dwn the street 
 with a bald head and a beer gut, and still 
 think they are beautiful. 
 

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 * Why do married men gain weight while 
 bachelors don`t? 
 Bachelors go to the refrigerator, see nothing 
 they want, then go to bed. 
 Married guys go to bed, see nothing they want, 
 then go to the refrigerator.