[TheForge] OT spam haiku OT

[Peter Fels And Phoebe Palmer]

LOL!!! giggle& gaffaw...thanks Bob!

schade at acegroup.cc wrote:
> 
> On Feb 28, 2008, at 9:21 AM, Peter Hirst wrote:
> 
>> Its true:  in Guam they call it Special Guam Spam:  Extra Sodium!!
>>
> 
> 
> 
> from
> 
> http://www.kbeamer.com/spam_haiku.html
> 
> Silent, former pig
> one communal awareness
> myriad pink bricks
> 
> Blue can of steel
> what promise do you hold?
> salt flesh so ripe
> 
> Can of metal, slick
> soft center, so cool, moistening
> I yearn for your salt
> 
> Twist, pull the sharp lid
> Jerks and cuts me deeply but
> Spam, aaah, my poultice.
> 
> You wait to feed me
> stoic vigil on the shelf
> ah my vibrant pink
> 
> Jelly for mortar
> seven hundred tins and more
> I build a Spam house
> 
> My friend pork shoulder
> I return to you. this time
> I've brought mayonnaise
> 
> Above all others
> porcine treat without equal
> there is but one Spam
> 
> Clad in metal, proud
> no mere salt-curing for you
> you are not bacon
> 
> And who dares mock Spam?
> you? you? you are not worthy
> of one rich pink fleck
> 
> Grotesque pinkish mass
> In a blue can on a shelf
> Quivering alone
> 
> Like some spongy rock
> A granite, my piece of Spam
> In sunlight on my plate
> 
> Oh Argentina!
> Your little tin of meat soars
> Above the pampas
> 
> The color of Spam
> is natural as the sky:
> A block of sunrise
> 
> Little slab of meat
> In a wash of clear jelly
> Now I heat the pan
> 
> Oh tin of pink meat
> I ponder what you may be:
> Snout or ear or feet?
> 
> In the cool morning
> I fry up a slab of Spam
> A dog barks next door
> 
> Pink tender morsel
> Glistening with salty gel
> What the hell is it?
> 
> Ears, snouts, and innards,
> A homogenous mass
> Pass another slice
> 
> Cube of cold pinkness
> Yellow specks of porcine fat
> Give me a spork please
> 
> Old man seeks doctor
> "I eat Spam daily", he says.
> Angioplasty
> 
> Highly unnatural
> The tortured shape of this "food"
> A small pink coffin
> 
> Slicing your sweet self
> Salivating in suspense
> Sizzle, sizzle...Spam
> 
> Pink beefy temptress
> I can no longer remain
> Vegetarian
> 
> Queasy, greasy SPAM
> Slithers without propulsion
> Across a white plate.
> 
> Born in World War Two
> Hogs marching off to battle
> Dressed in tin armor.
> 
> The blue can is square
> Why not a circular can?
> Too much like dog food.
> 
> When I was a kid
> Mom would make SPAM casserole
> Now she denies it. If you cut open
> A SPAM can with a jigsaw
> The blade will smell weird.
> 
> Myrrh, frankincense, and
> SPAM: the gifts of two wise men
> and one complete fool.
> 
> Bright lights and cruel cops
> grill the suspect pork product
> It doesn't confess.
> 
> Old retired jocks to
> star in ads for new SPAM Lite
> "Tastes filling!" "Less great!"
> 
> After scrutiny,
> methinks it is doggie food
> I eat on all fours.
> 
> In mud you frolicked
> Till they cut, cleaned and canned you
> How now, ground sow?
> 
> Cold SPAM canapes
> Served up by John Belushi-
> Martha Stewart's Hell!
> 
> Slice the cold, pink block
> Apply to sucking chest wound
> Don't need stitches now.
> 
> "Slow down," she whispered
> now guiding my trembling hands
> "Turn the key slowly."
> 
> Silken pig tofu
> The color of spanked buttocks
> Blushing at my knife.
> 
> SPAM, too, needs a wife
> What consort for my Pork Prince?
> Ah! The Velveeta!
> 
> SPAM glistens pinkly;
> Cat taps it with wary paw
> To see if it's dead.
> 
> I put my shoes on
> But remembered far too late
> My secret SPAM stash.
> 
> Special Thanks to friends Benny Rietveld, Cynthia Gentry & Kent Brisby
> 
> - Keola Beamer
> 
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