[TheForge] Happy Halloween,,, OT

[Larry Brown]

>Just got some Halloween safety tips- read and be warned ;-)
>
>Ene bichizh ogsen baina shuu...
>
>Halloween Safety Tips
>
>I'm sure that you've all seen these rules before and really, they're just
>common sense. But since we're coming up to that time of the year, I think
>it's wise to review them. Something about this time of year can play havoc
>with otherwise sensible people.
>
>Just in case you have forgotten the rules for a safe and Happy Halloween.
>
>1. When it appears that you have killed the monster, NEVER, EVER go check to
>see if it's really dead.
>
>2. Never read a book of demon summoning aloud, even just mumbling to
>yourself, if you can't read silently you have no business with such a thing
>anyway!
>
>3. Do not search the basement, especially if the power has gone out.
>
>4. If your pets speak to you in Latin or any other language which they
>should not know, shoot them immediately. It will save you a lot of grief in
>the long run. However, it will probably take several rounds to kill them, so
>be prepared. This also applies to people who speak with somebody else's
>(usually deep) voice.
>
>5. When you have the benefit of numbers, NEVER pair off or even split up and
>go it alone.
>
>6. As a general rule, don't try to solve puzzles that open portals to Hell.
>
>7. Never stand in, on, or above a grave, tomb, or crypt. This would apply to
>any other house of the dead as well.
>
>8. If you're searching for something which caused a loud noise and find out
>that it's just the cat, GET THE HELL OUT!
>
>9. If appliances start operating by themselves, lights go on and off, a fire
>just appears in the hearth, or doors open and close by themselves - do not
>check for drafts, do not check for short circuits; just get out!
>
>9 1/2. Why, why, why would you even think of sleeping in that house if that
>happened?
>
>10. Do not take ANYTHING from the dead.
>
>11. If you find a town which looks deserted, there's probably a good reason
>for it. Don't stop and look around!
>
>12. Don't fool with recombinant DNA technology unless you're sure you know
>what you're doing. And even if you're sure you know what you're doing, just
>don't fool with it!
>
>13. If you're running from the monster, expect to trip or fall down at least
>twice. Also note that, despite the fact that you are running and the monster
>is merely shambling along, it's still moving fast enough to catch up with
>you.
>
>14. If your companions suddenly begin to exhibit uncharacteristic behavior
>such as hissing, fascination for blood, glowing eyes, increasing hairiness,
>and so on, kill them immediately.
>
>15. Stay away from certain geographical locations, some of which are listed
>here: Amityville, Elm Street, Transylvania, Nilbog (you're in trouble if you
>recognize this one), the Bermuda Triangle, or any small town in Maine.
>
>16. If your car runs out of gas at night on a lonely road, do not go to the
>nearby deserted looking house to phone for help. If you think that it is
>strange because you thought you had half of a tank, shoot yourself instead.
>You are going to die anyway, and most likely be eaten.
>
>17. If you find that your house is built upon a cemetery, now is the time to
>move in with the in-laws. This applies to houses that had previous
>inhabitants who went mad or died in some horrible fashion, or had
>inhabitants who performed satanic practices in your house.
>
>17 1/2. When the exorcist/whatever declares the house is "clear", your
>troubles have just begun.
>
>18. Never look under the stairs. or the bed. or in the closet. or the
>cellar, attic.....you get the idea.
>
>19. Don't take anything back to the lab that looks like it might hatch real
>soon - especially if it is transparent, something inside is moving, or it
>appears to be lighted from within. In the same vein, never bend over to look
>into anything that looks like an opening egg.
>
>20. If you don't want to be chased by the monster (or serial killer, shark,
>alien, giant snake, radioactive ants, etc.)...don't wear skimpy clothes or
>wet T-shirts.
>
>21. If you are being chased by a car, don't run into the building, the car
>will corner you and rev it's engine menacingly before destroying the house,
>business, police station, etc. Whereas, if you just run down the road it
>can't catch you.
>
>22. Never unwrap the mummy. (See........Always good to have duct tape
>on-hand just in case something unravels)
>
>23. Going faster than some barrier: sound, light, gossip...is generally bad
>news for someone somewhere.
>
>24. When flying on an airplane, at night, in a storm, don't raise the shade
>to see what that noise out on the wing was.
>
>25. Don't talk to sheriffs wearing reflecting sunglasses in towns that are
>so small the gas station has one pump.
>
>26. Silver works - garlic doesn't.
>
>Happy Halloween !!
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>Saint Phlip,
>CoDoLDS
>
>"When in doubt, heat it up and hit it with a hammer."
>  Blacksmith's credo.
>
>  If it walks like a duck, and quacks like a duck, it is probably not a
>cat.
>
>Never a horse that cain't be rode,
>And never a rider who cain't be throwed....
>
>
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