[TheForge] helper question

[Phlip]

Ene bichizh ogsen baina shuu...

>
> how do you get this type of helper to only clean up at the
> end-of-the-day and not every half hour?
>

Terry, the problem is that she feels helpless and wants to help, so she's
doing what she knows to do- tidying up her perceived mess, thinking it will
help you do what  you're doing.

Frosty had the right of it. Explain to her quietly and simply about
something fairly simple that she can do to really help, and that her
constant cleaning and rearranging is distracting you from what you're doing.

Many women look at household repair/ remodeling chores as being something
similar to a major cooking project, say, Thanksgiving Dinner for 30 or so
relatives, in-laws, out-laws, and all the rest. In a project like that, it
is often necessary to clean up as we go along, simply because most kitchens
are set up to deal with a meal for 4 or maybe 6, and we need to recycle the
measuring spoons, the pots and pans, etc, just to get the job done. No good
cook wants to cross-contaminate their giblet stuffing with their strawberry
trifle, so it's difficult for them to understand that a few cigarette ashes
on the 2 X 4s, or sawdust on the drywall isn't a problem like cake batter in
the hot apple cider would be.

If it helps, explain to her that your daily mess is rather akin to her doing
a major baking project- if she had someone cleaning up all the flour off of
the kneading board between each batch, their "help" would be slowing things
down as she let the board dry and got more flour for each batch. I'd suggest
you send her over and let her clean up after me- I tend to be a mess looking
for a place to happen- but I suspect that Pennsic might be a bit much for
her ;-)

Of course, there are home handymen, and home handymen. My ex was remodeling
our house, and wanted to tear out the bathroom, which was fine, but I knew
how he worked. "Honey, it will only be for a couple of weeks", yeah right.
Told him that fine, but he wasn't going to start until after final exams, so
he'd have a month and a half to fix things up. As I was in the shower, after
my last exam, I heard him in the bathroom clunking and clanging, tearing
stuff out. When I got out, there he was, wearing nothing but his shoes, his
socks, and his wristwatch, tearing out the drywall. I made him stop long
enough to rescue my dry towel, and escaped, and dressed in the bedroom.

When classes started, a month and a half later, he still hadn't done
anything other than tear things up, so I made a deal with a local motel to
use their shower, and at the end of that quarter, got in there and worked
out some plumbing and attachments so I could at least sit in the tub and
hose myself off. When I left 3 years later, he still hadn't fixed the
bathroom so it could be used properly. Last time I was over there (a couple
of years ago?) you could still only use the toilet....

One of these days, remind me to tell you about fixing the kitchen ceiling
and roof- have I mentioned that he's afraid of heights?

Phlip, long time survivor of well-meaning men....

"When in doubt, heat it up and hit it with a hammer."
 Blacksmith's credo.

 If it walks like a duck, and quacks like a duck, it is probably not a
cat.

Never a horse that cain't be rode,
And never a rider who cain't be throwed....