[TheForge] Re: Femininity, clothing, and dealing with heat- was Re: [TheForge] Watch Rob kill me

Sun Jun 23 12:25:01 2002

Ah....

   Big difference between, having to put yourself through college, and
"working".  I guess I should have been more specific.  I'm not talking
about making a kid work himself to death and go to school too.  At the
3/4 mark of my daughter's Beauty College it was evident that working
was costing her too much energy to get her studies done.  I told her
to quit and paid her expenses until she graduated.  Of course at her
graduation open house, I handed her car payment book to her as
everyone else was handing her money.
   At the same time, she was still responsible for all of her own
personal maintenance, laundry, a portion of the house cleaning other
than her own room, keeping her car up, etc. We always made sure they
had real responsibilities and real privileges, the privileges
disappeared as fast as the responsibilities were not lived up to.
   The kids I was referring to are the ones I see lying around all
summer, playing on the lake, anything but working.  I've heard their
parents say things like, " well, she worked so hard at school this
year, she deserved a break".  Anyone here get a three month break
because you worked hard all year?  Teachers need not reply,  ;o).

   Responsibility and reward...guess I should have made that more
clear. When I see the 14 year old neighbor kid play all day and his
dad comes home and mows  and trims after work, then takes the kid to
boyscouts and sports and  and  and....you get my drift.

   Jeff   ><>
----- Original Message -----
From: "Demon Buddha" <[email protected]>
To: <[email protected]>
Sent: Sunday, June 23, 2002 10:51 AM
Subject: [TheForge] Re: Femininity, clothing, and dealing with heat-
was Re: [TheForge] Watch Rob kill me

>
>
> Jeff Harding wrote:
>
> >    Ok... spare me the defense of the degree, I know it's not the
> > education that causes it.  Starting about 30-40 years ago, parents
> > thought the kids needed to have their way paid through college, so
> > they did, even though they fought their own way up.  Putting your
kid
> > through college became like having an in ground pool or a third
car.
> > Created a group of people with their hands out and an expectation
of
> > privilege.  These are now the people running every company in the
> > world.  YES....there will be a few exceptions.
>
> I have no problem with putting a child through college.
> Such decisions depend on the child in question.  Some need
> to concentrate solely on their studies.  Some outhg to go
> get a job.  Others don't need to go to college and ought
> not be forced into it.  Nigel Tudor is a prime example of
> the latter.  I took a class with him at Touchstone.  17
> years old, had a full balcksmiths shop, did very nice work
> and knew that blacksmithing was all he wanted to do with
> his professional life, and his parents were way cool with
> it.  I salute them for allowing their son to be what he
> wanted, for respecting his resolve, rather than trying to
> force him into a mild that he did not fit.
>
> If my "daughter" comes to live with me, she will be put
> through college if she wants to go, which she WILL want or
> face immediate death.  If she wants to work, she may, but
> if not I will not require it of her.  She is a gifted
> child but has problems with learning because French was her
> first language (even though she is an American) and by
> the time she came here, she was "behind".  I'm trying to
> get her use of "our" language up there, and it's getting
> better, but given that particular impediment, I would
> rather she concentrate on her studies than force her to
> take a job for the sake of having her come up the old
> fashioned way.  Nothing wrong with working, either, but
> sometimes other choices must be made.
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