[SOC] Quotes

[Bob Patten]

 >> Sometimes, when I look at my children,
 >>  I say to myself, 'Lillian,
 >> you should have remained a “virgin.”
 >> -   Lillian Carter (mother of Jimmy Carter)
 >>
 >>
 >>
 >> I had a rose named after me and I was
 >> very flattered. But I was not pleased
 >> to read the description in the catalogue:
 >>  'No good in a bed, but fine against a wall.'
 >> - Eleanor Roosevelt
 >>
 >>
 >> <><>
 >> Last week, I stated this woman was
 >> the ugliest woman I had ever seen.
 >>  I have since been visited by her sister,
 >>  and now wish to withdraw that statement..
 >> - Mark Twain
 >>
 >>
 >> <><>
 >> The secret of a good sermon is to have
 >> a good beginning and a good ending;
 >> and to have the two as close together as possible
 >> - George Burns
 >>
 >>
 >> <><>
 >> Santa Claus has the right idea.
 >> Visit people only once a year.
 >> - Victor Borge
 >>
 >>
 >> <><>
 >> Be careful about reading health books.
 >>  You may die of a misprint.
 >> - Mark Twain
 >>
 >>
 >> <><>
 >> By all means, marry.  If you get a good wife,
 >>  you'll become happy; if you get a bad one,
 >>  you'll become a philosopher.
 >> - Socrates
 >>
 >>
 >> <><>
 >> I was married by a judge.
 >>  I should have asked for a jury.
 >> - Groucho Marx
 >>
 >>
 >> <><>
 >> My wife has a slight impediment in her speech.
 >> Every now and then she stops to breathe.
 >> - Jimmy Durante
 >>
 >>
 >> <><>
 >> I have never hated a man enough to give his
 >> diamonds back.
 >> - Zsa Zsa Gabor
 >>
 >>
 >> <><>
 >> Only Irish coffee provides in a single glass
 >> all four essential food groups: alcohol,
 >> caffeine, sugar and fat.
 >> - Alex Levine
 >>
 >>
 >> <><>
 >> My luck is so bad that if I bought a cemetery,
 >>  people would stop dying.
 >> - Rodney Dangerfield
 >>
 >>
 >> <><>
 >>
 >> Money can't buy you happiness...  But it does
 >> bring you a more pleasant form of misery.
 >> - Spike Milligan
 >>
 >>
 >> <><>
 >> Until I was thirteen, I thought my name was
 >> SHUT UP .
 >> - Joe Namath
 >>
 >>
 >> <><>
 >> I don't feel old.  I don't feel anything until noon.
 >> Then it's time for my nap.
 >> - Bob Hope
 >>
 >>
 >> <><>
 >> I never drink water because of the disgusting
 >> things that fish do in it.
 >> - W. C. Fields
 >>
 >>
 >> <><>
 >> We could certainly slow the aging process down
 >> if it had to work its way through Congress.
 >> - Will Rogers
 >>
 >>
 >> <><>
 >> Don't worry about avoiding temptation.
 >>  As you grow older, it will avoid you.
 >> - Winston Churchill
 >>
 >>
 >> <><>
 >> Maybe it's true that life begins at fifty…
 >>  But everything else starts to wear out,
 >>  fall out, or spread out..
 >> - Phyllis Diller
 >>
 >>
 >> <><>
 >> By the time a man is wise enough to watch
 >> his step, he's too old to go anywhere.
 >> - Billy Crystal
 >>
 >>
 >> <><>
 >>
 >> And the cardiologist's diet: If it tastes good spit it out.
 >>
 >>
 >>
 >>
 >> May your troubles be less, may your blessings be more, and
 >> May nothing but happiness come through your door.


-- 
73,     Bob Patten, N4BP                Plantation, FL

E-Mail :   n4bp at arrl.net                Website: http://www.qsl.net/n4bp
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