[SOC] Understanding Engineers

[Cristiano]

#2 rulez.
Il 12/nov/2013 12:16 "BP" <n4bp at bellsouth.net> ha scritto:

> Understanding Engineers #1
> Two engineering students were biking across a university campus when one
> said, “Where did you get such a great bike?” The second engineer replied,
> “Well, I was walking along yesterday, minding my own business, when a
> beautiful woman rode up on this bike, threw it to the ground, took off all
> her clothes and said,”Take what you want.” The first engineer nodded
> approvingly and said,”Good choice, The clothes probably wouldn’t have fit
> you anyway.”
>
> Understanding Engineers #2
> To the optimist, the glass is half-full.
> To the pessimist, the glass is half-empty.
> To the engineer, the glass is twice as big as it needs to be.
>
> Understanding Engineers #3
> A priest, an ophthalmologist, and an engineer were golfing one morning
> behind a particularly slow group of golfers.
> The engineer fumed, “What’s with those guys? We must have been waiting for
> fifteen minutes!”
> The doctor chimed in,”I don’t know, but I’ve never seen such inept golf!”
> The priest said, “Here comes the greens keeper. Let’s have a word with
> him.”
> He said, “Hello, George. What’s wrong with that group ahead of us? They’re
> rather slow, aren’t they?”
> The greens keeper replied, “Oh, yes. That’s a group of blind firemen.They
> lost their sight saving our clubhouse from a fire last year, so we let them
> play for free anytime.”
> The group fell silent for a moment. Then the priest said,”That’s so sad. I
> think I’ll say a special prayer for them.”
> The ophthalmologist added, “Good idea. And maybe I could examine them to
> see if there’s anything I can do for them.”
> They were silent for a moment.
> Then the engineer said, “Why can’t they play at night?”
>
> Understanding Engineers #4
> What is the difference between mechanical engineers and civil engineers?
> Mechanical engineers build weapons.
> Civil engineers build targets.
>
> Understanding Engineers #5
> The graduate with a science degree asks, “Why does it work?”
> The graduate with an engineering degree asks, “How does it work?”
> The graduate with accounting degree asks, “How much will it cost?”
> The graduate with an arts degree asks, “Do you want fries with that?”
>
> Understanding Engineers #6
> Three engineering students were gathered together discussing who must have
> designed the human body.
> One said, “It was a mechanical engineer.  Just look at all the joints.”
> Another said, “No, it was an electrical engineer. The nervous system has
> many thousands of electrical connections.”
> The last one said, “No, actually it had to have been a civil engineer. Who
> else would run a toxic waste pipeline adjacent to a recreational area?”
>
> Understanding Engineers #7
> Normal people believe that if it ain’t broke, don’t fix it.
> Engineers believe that if it ain’t broke, it doesn’t have enough features
> yet.
>
> Understanding Engineers #8
> An engineer was crossing a road one day, when a frog called out to him and
> said, “If you kiss me, I’ll turn into a beautiful princess.”
> He bent over, picked up the frog, and put it in his pocket. The frog spoke
> up again and said, “If you kiss me, I’ll turn back into a beautiful
> princess and stay with you for one week.” The engineer took the frog out of
> his pocket, smiled at it and returned it to the pocket.
> The frog then cried out, “If you kiss me and turn me back into a princess,
> I’ll stay with you for one week and do anything you want.”
> Again, the engineer took the frog out,smiled at it and put it back into
> his pocket.
> Finally, the frog asked, “What is the matter? I’ve told you I’m a
> beautiful princess and that I’ll stay with you for one week and do anything
> you want. Why won’t you kiss me?”
> The engineer said, “Look, I’m a busy engineer.I don’t have time for a
> girlfriend. But a talking frog, now that’s cool!”
>
> --
> 73,     Bob Patten, N4BP                Plantation, FL
>
> E-Mail :   n4bp at arrl.net                Website: http://www.qsl.net/n4bp
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