[SOC] Understanding Engineers

[BP]

Understanding Engineers #1
Two engineering students were biking across a university campus when one 
said, “Where did you get such a great bike?” The second engineer 
replied, “Well, I was walking along yesterday, minding my own business, 
when a beautiful woman rode up on this bike, threw it to the ground, 
took off all her clothes and said,”Take what you want.” The first 
engineer nodded approvingly and said,”Good choice, The clothes probably 
wouldn’t have fit you anyway.”

Understanding Engineers #2
To the optimist, the glass is half-full.
To the pessimist, the glass is half-empty.
To the engineer, the glass is twice as big as it needs to be.

Understanding Engineers #3
A priest, an ophthalmologist, and an engineer were golfing one morning 
behind a particularly slow group of golfers.
The engineer fumed, “What’s with those guys? We must have been waiting 
for fifteen minutes!”
The doctor chimed in,”I don’t know, but I’ve never seen such inept golf!”
The priest said, “Here comes the greens keeper. Let’s have a word with him.”
He said, “Hello, George. What’s wrong with that group ahead of us? 
They’re rather slow, aren’t they?”
The greens keeper replied, “Oh, yes. That’s a group of blind 
firemen.They lost their sight saving our clubhouse from a fire last 
year, so we let them play for free anytime.”
The group fell silent for a moment. Then the priest said,”That’s so sad. 
I think I’ll say a special prayer for them.”
The ophthalmologist added, “Good idea. And maybe I could examine them to 
see if there’s anything I can do for them.”
They were silent for a moment.
Then the engineer said, “Why can’t they play at night?”

Understanding Engineers #4
What is the difference between mechanical engineers and civil engineers?
Mechanical engineers build weapons.
Civil engineers build targets.

Understanding Engineers #5
The graduate with a science degree asks, “Why does it work?”
The graduate with an engineering degree asks, “How does it work?”
The graduate with accounting degree asks, “How much will it cost?”
The graduate with an arts degree asks, “Do you want fries with that?”

Understanding Engineers #6
Three engineering students were gathered together discussing who must 
have designed the human body.
One said, “It was a mechanical engineer.  Just look at all the joints.”
Another said, “No, it was an electrical engineer. The nervous system has 
many thousands of electrical connections.”
The last one said, “No, actually it had to have been a civil engineer. 
Who else would run a toxic waste pipeline adjacent to a recreational area?”

Understanding Engineers #7
Normal people believe that if it ain’t broke, don’t fix it.
Engineers believe that if it ain’t broke, it doesn’t have enough 
features yet.

Understanding Engineers #8
An engineer was crossing a road one day, when a frog called out to him 
and said, “If you kiss me, I’ll turn into a beautiful princess.”
He bent over, picked up the frog, and put it in his pocket. The frog 
spoke up again and said, “If you kiss me, I’ll turn back into a 
beautiful princess and stay with you for one week.” The engineer took 
the frog out of his pocket, smiled at it and returned it to the pocket.
The frog then cried out, “If you kiss me and turn me back into a 
princess, I’ll stay with you for one week and do anything you want.”
Again, the engineer took the frog out,smiled at it and put it back into 
his pocket.
Finally, the frog asked, “What is the matter? I’ve told you I’m a 
beautiful princess and that I’ll stay with you for one week and do 
anything you want. Why won’t you kiss me?”
The engineer said, “Look, I’m a busy engineer.I don’t have time for a 
girlfriend. But a talking frog, now that’s cool!”

-- 
73,     Bob Patten, N4BP                Plantation, FL

E-Mail :   n4bp at arrl.net                Website: http://www.qsl.net/n4bp
SOC #1          ARS #799                QRP ARCI #3412       FISTS #7871
FP #1491     10-10 #3268                SMIRK #6625