[SOC] The Afghan Footballer

[john bell]

 The Everton manager flies to Kabul to watch a young  Afghani play 
football.  He is suitably impressed and arranges for the  player to come
 over.

 Two weeks later Everton are 2-0 down to  Man Utd with only 20 
minutes left. The manager gives the young Afghani  striker the nod, and 
on he goes.

 The lad is a sensation. He scores 3  goals in 20 minutes and wins 
the game for Everton . The fans are  delighted, the players and the 
 coach are 
 delighted and the media  love the new star.

 When the player comes off the pitch he phones his  mum to tell her about his first game in English football.

 ‘Hello  mum, guess what?’ he says ‘I played for 20 minutes today, 
 we were 2  - 0 down but I scored 3, they call it a hat-trick, and we 
 won.

 Everybody loves me, the fans, the press, they all love  me.’

 ‘Just wonderful,’ says his mum, ‘Let me tell you about my day  …

 Your father got shot in the street, your sister and I were ambushed 
 and assaulted, she would have been raped but for a passing police 
 vehicle.

 Your brother has joined a local gang of looters and set fire  to 
some buildings and all while you tell me that you were having a great 
 time!!’

 The young lad is very upset. ‘What can I say mum, but I’m  really sorry.’

 Sorry?!!! Sorry?!!!’ says his mum.

 ‘It’s your darned fault we came to Liverpool in the first  place!’