[SOC] Henny Youngman

[Spencer Sholly]

Hennie Youngman Lives 
> 
> My neighbor knocked on my door at 2:30 am this morning, can 
>you believe that..... 2:30am?! Luckily for him I was still up 
>playing my Bagpipes.
> 
> Man calls 911 and says "I think my wife is dead" The operator 
>says how do you know? He says "The sex is the same but the ironing 
>is building up!"
> 
> I was in bed with a blind girl last night and she said that I had 
>the biggest penis she had ever laid her hands on. I said "You're 
>pulling
> my leg." 
> 
> I saw a poor old lady fall over today on the ice!! At least 
>I presume she was poor - she only had $1.20 in her purse.
> 
> My girlfriend thinks that I'm a stalker. Well, she's not exactly 
>my girlfriend yet.
> 
> Went for my routine check up today and everything seemed to be 
>going fine until he stuck his index finger up my a**! Do you think I 
>should change dentists?
> 
> A wife says to her husband you're always pushing me around 
>and talking behind my back. He says what do you expect? You're in a 
>wheel chair.
> 
> I was explaining to my wife last night that when you die you 
>get reincarnated but must come back as a different creature. She said 
>she would like to come back as a cow. I said, "You're obviously not 
>listening. "
> 
> The wife has been missing a week now. Police said to prepare for 
>the worst. So I have been to the thrift shop to get all her clothes 
>back. 
>