[SOC] Fwd: They said it!!!

[Walter - K5EST]

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Subject: They said it!!!



Sometimes, when I look at my children,

I say to myself,

'Lillian, you should have remained a virgin.'

-   Lillian Carter (mother of Jimmy Carter)

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I had a rose named after me and I was very flattered.

But I was not pleased to read the description in the catalog

'No good in a bed, but fine against a wall.'

- Eleanor Roosevelt

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Last week, I stated this woman was the ugliest woman

I had ever seen..

I have since been visited by her sister,

and now wish to withdraw that statement..

- Mark Twain

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The secret of a good sermon is to have a good beginning

and a good ending;

and to have the two as close together as possible

- George Burns

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Santa Claus has the right idea.

Visit people only once a year..

- Victor Borge

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Be careful about reading health books.

You may die of a misprint.

- Mark Twain

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By all means, marry. If you get a good wife,

you'll become happy; if you get a bad one,

you'll become a philosopher.

- Socrates

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I was married by a judge.

I should have asked for a jury.

- Groucho Marx

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My wife has a slight impediment in her speech.

Every now and then she stops to breathe.

- Jimmy Durante

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I have never  hated a man enough

to give his diamonds back.

- Zsa Zsa Gabor

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Only Irish coffee provides in a single glass all four essential food
groups: alcohol, caffeine, sugar and fat.

- Alex Levine

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My luck is so bad that if I bought a cemetery,

people would stop dying

- Rodney Dangerfield

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Money can't buy you happiness …

But it does bring you a more pleasant form of misery.

- Spike Milligan

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Until I was thirteen, I thought my name was SHUT UP .

- Joe Namath

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I don't feel old. I don't feel anything until noon.

Then it's time for my nap.

- Bob Hope

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I never drink water because of the disgusting

things that fish do in it ...

- W. C. Fields

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We could certainly slow the aging process down

if it had to work its way through Congress.

- Will Rogers

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Don't worry about avoiding temptation.

As you grow older, it will avoid you.

- Winston Churchill

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Maybe it's true that life begins at fifty ...

But everything else starts to wear out,

fall out, or spread out ...

- Phyllis Diller

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By the time a man is wise enough to watch his step,

he's too old to go anywhere.

- Billy Crystal

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And the cardiologist' s diet: -

If it tastes good spit it out..


.....74-1......de K5EST