[SOC] Christmas Greetings

[Radio K0HB]

Dear Friends,

It becomes my painful duty to write you a letter of apology instead of 
sending you the Christmas remembrance that I had intended for you.

Knowing so well the appetites, likes and dislikes of my close friends, I 
made up a list of twelve of my best friends and went down and bought twelve 
quarts of "Royal Canadian" seven-year-old whiskey. Nothing but the very 
finest for my friends. I took this home and put it in my closet and intended 
to put it up in nice Christmas packages and send it out to you just before 
Christmas.

My wife, K0CKB, got to fumbling around in the closet and found the liquor 
and didn't understand just what I intended to do with it. So she came up and 
told me to empty the contents of every bottle down the sink, or else. So I 
proceeded with the unpleasant task.

I withdrew the cork from the first bottle and poured the contents down the 
sink, with the exception of one glass which I drank. I extracted the cork of 
the second bottle and likewise poured the contents down the sink, with the 
exception of the glass which I drank. I pulled the sink from the next bottle 
from the cork of the next and drank one sink out of it and threw the rest 
down the glass. I pulled the sink out of the next glass and poured the cork 
from the bottle. Then I corked the sink with the glass, bottled the drink 
and drank the pour.

When I had everything emptied, I steadied the house with one hand and 
counted the bottles, corks, glasses, and sinks with the other, which were 
twenty-nine. And, as the houses came by, I counted them again and finally 
had all the houses and bottles and corks and glasses and sinks counted, 
except one house which I drank.

So this accounts, dear friends, for your not receiving a more stimulating 
Christmas present than this  letter. I sincerely hope that from some other 
source you get all the joys and happiness that come from Christmas 
remembrances.

"May the Lord take care of you, but not too soon."