[SOC] Mary Poppins

[Spencer Sholly]

> Mary Poppins
> 
> Mary Poppins decides to grow some vegetables. When she picks
> her crop in the autumn, her carrots, potatoes, onions, and
> spring beans have all failed, but her cauliflowers have
> grown a treat.
> 
> She picks them, cooks some for Sunday lunch in a cheese
> sauce, and they taste wonderful.
> 
> After eating them for a week she notices two things.
> Firstly, her lips are full and glossy, unchapped, uncracked,
> and require absolutely no lip gloss to make them look full
> and pouty.
> 
> Secondly, she has really awful bad breath, and even her cat
> won't come near her.
> 
> Pleased with her lips, however, and spotting a money-making
> idea, she contacts a big cosmetics company and explains
> about the lip-enhancing qualities of her cauliflower crop.
> 
> After a month of testing, the company buys the entire crop
> of cauliflowers for a phenomenal amount and requests that
> Mary grow some more as soon as possible.
> 
> The company proceeds to make lipstick out of them but
> experiences problems in the the final product manufacture.
> The lipstick does not gel correctly into a solid stick and
> ends up crumbling upon application. Quality controllers also
> find that, even as a lipstick, the bad breath remains and
> have to put it down as an unfortunate side effect.
> 
> As they are nearing their production deadline and adverts
> for this new wonder lip enhancer have hit the streets, the
> cosmetics company has no choice but to produce the packaging
> with the following caution.
> 
> Poppins' Pop-up Lip Enhancer:
> 
> SUPER CAULI, FRAGILE LIPSTICK - EXPECT-HALITOSIS
>