[SOC] How Not to Rob a Bank

[Spencer Sholly]

 How Not to Rob a Bank
> 
> The following is an excerpt from Tim Clark's "How Not to Rob
> a Bank." Here are some easy lessons gleaned from the
> experiences of a number of would-be robbers.
> 
> PICK THE RIGHT BANK
> 
> You don't want to make the same mistake as the fellow in
> Anaheim, CA, who tried to hold up a bank that was no longer
> in business and had no money.
> 
> STUDY YOUR HISTORY
> 
> Don't try to stick up the First National Bank of Northfield,
> Minnesota. Jesse James tried it 111 years ago, and the
> townsfolk took just seven minutes to kill two and capture
> three of his gang. Nobody tried again until 1984, and the
> customers chased the guy down. They're tight with their
> dollar, those Minnesotans.
> 
> SPEAK TO THE RIGHT TELLER
> 
> One robber in Upland, CA, presented his note to the teller,
> and her father, who was in the next line, got all bent out
> of shape about it. He wrestled the guy to the ground and sat
> on him until authorities arrived.
> 
> DON'T SIGN YOUR DEMAND NOTE
> 
> Demand notes have been written on the back of a subpoena
> issued in the name of a bank robber in Pittsburgh... on an
> envelope bearing the name and address of another in
> Detroit....and in East Hartford, Connecticut, on the back of
> a withdrawal slip giving the robber's signature and account
> number.
> 
> GO EASY ON THE DISGUISE
> 
> One robber, dressed up as a woman with very heavy make-up,
> ran face first into a glass door. He was the first criminal
> ever to be positively identified by lip-print.
> 
> TAKE RIGHT TURNS ONLY
> 
> Avoid the sad fate of the thieves in Florida who took a
> wrong turn into the Homestead Air Force Base, drove up to a
> military police guardhouse and, thinking it was a
> toll-booth, offered the security men money.
> 
> BE AWARE OF THE TIME
> 
> Or the chagrin of the bank robber in Cheshire,
> Massachusetts, who hit the bank at 4:30 PM, then tried to
> escape through downtown North Adams, where he was trapped in
> rush hour traffic until police arrived.
> 
> CONSIDER ANOTHER LINE OF WORK
> 
> Bank robbery is not for everyone. One nervous Newport, RI,
> robber, while trying to stuff his ill-gotten gains into his
> shirt pocket, shot himself in the head and died instantly.
> 
> BE STRONG
> 
> Then there was the case of the hopeful criminal in Swansea,
> Massachusetts, who, when the teller told him she had no
> money, fainted. He was still unconscious when the police
> arrived. His getaway car, parked nearby, had the keys locked
> inside it.
> 
 		 	   		  
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