[SOC] Fw: must read

[Bob Krueger]

This is not related to telegraphy or radio in any way but it is a chuckle, 
Hoping the soc will enjoy  .de bob wb9ukq





A MUST READ


  The Dam












This is an actual letter sent to a man named Ryan DeVries regarding a pond 
on his property.   It was sent by the Pennsylvania Department of 
Environmental Quality, State of Pennsylvania .   This guy's response is 
hilarious, but read The State's letter before you get to the response 
letter.



State of Pennsylvania 's letter to Mr. DeVries:



SUBJECT: DEQ
File No.97-59-0023; T11N; R10W, Sec 20; Lycoming County

Dear Mr. DeVries:

It has come to the attention of the Department of Environmental Quality that 
there has been recent unauthorized activity on the above referenced parcel 
of property. You have been certified as the legal landowner and/or 
contractor who did the following unauthorized activity:

Construction and maintenance of two wood debris dams across the outlet 
stream of Spring Pond.

A permit must be issued prior to the start of this type of activity. A 
review of the Department's files shows that no permits have been issued 
Therefore, the Department has determined that this activity is in violation 
of Part 301, Inland Lakes and Streams, of the Natural Resource and 
Environmental Protection Act, Act 451 of the Public Acts of 1994, being 
sections 324.30101 to 324.30113 of the Pennsylvania Compiled Laws, 
annotated.

The Department has been informed that one or both of the dams partially 
failed during a recent rain event, causing debris and flooding at downstream 
locations.  We find that dams of this nature are inherently hazardous and 
cannot be permitted. The Department therefore orders you to cease and desist 
all activities at this location, and to restore the stream to a free-flow 
condition by removing all wood and brush forming the dams from the stream 
channel.  All restoration work shall be completed no later than January 31, 
2010.

Please notify this office when the restoration has been completed so that a 
follow-up site inspection may be scheduled by our staff.  Failure to comply 
with this request or any further unauthorized activity on the site may 
result in this case being referred for elevated enforcement action..

We anticipate and would appreciate your full cooperation in this matter. 
Please feel free to contact me at this office if you have any questions.

Sincerely,
David L. Price
District Representative and Water Management Division.

Here is the actual response sent back by Mr. DeVries:


Re: DEQ File
No. 97-59-0023; T11N; R10W, Sec. 20; Lycoming County

Dear Mr.Price,

Your certified letter dated 12/17/09 has been handed to me to respond to.  I 
am the legal landowner but not the Contractor at 2088 Dagget Lane , Trout 
Run, Pennsylvania .

A couple of beavers are in the (State unauthorized) process of constructing 
and maintaining two wood 'debris' dams across the outlet stream of my Spring 
Pond.  While I did not pay for, authorize, nor supervise their dam project, 
I think they would be highly offended that you call their skillful use of 
natures building materials 'debris.'

I would like to challenge your department to attempt to emulate their dam 
project any time and/or any place you choose. I believe I can safely state 
there is no way you could ever match their dam skills, their dam 
resourcefulness, their dam ingenuity, their dam persistence, their dam 
determination and/or their dam work ethic.














These are the beavers/contractors you are seeking.   As to your request, I 
do not think the beavers are aware that they must first fill out a dam 
permit prior to the start of this type of dam activity.

My first dam question to you is:
(1) Are you trying to discriminate against my Spring Pond Beavers, or
(2) do you require all beavers throughout this State to conform to said dam 
request?

If you are not discriminating against these particular beavers, through the 
Freedom of Information Act, I request completed copies of all those other 
applicable beaver dam permits that have been issued.  (Perhaps we will see 
if there really is a dam violation of Part 301, Inland Lakes and Streams, of 
the Natural Resource and Environmental Protection Act, Act 451 of the Public 
Acts of 1994, being sections 324.30101 to 324.30113 of the Pennsylvania 
Compiled Laws, annotated.)

I have several dam concerns.  My first dam concern is, aren't the beavers 
entitled to legal representation?  The Spring Pond Beavers are financially 
destitute and are unable to pay for said representation -- so the State will 
have to provide them with a dam lawyer.

The Department's dam concern that either one or both of the dams failed 
during a recent rain event, causing flooding, is proof that this is a 
natural occurrence, which the Department is required to protect. In other 
words, we should leave the Spring Pond Beavers alone rather than harassing 
them and calling them dam names.

If you want the dammed stream 'restored' to a dam free-flow condition please 
contact the beavers -- but if you are going to arrest them, they obviously 
did not pay any attention to your dam letter, they being unable to read 
English.

In my humble opinion, the Spring Pond Beavers have a right to build their 
unauthorized dams as long as the sky is blue, the grass is green and water 
flows downstream. They have more dam rights than I do to live and enjoy 
Spring Pond.  If the Department of Natural Resources and Environmental 
Protection lives up to its name, it should protect the natural resources 
(Beavers) and the environment (Beavers' Dams).

So, as far as the beavers and I are concerned, this dam case can be referred 
for more elevated enforcement action right now. Why wait until 1/31/2010? 
The Spring Pond Beavers may be under the dam ice by then and there will be 
no way for you or your dam staff to contact/harass them.

In conclusion, I would like to bring to your attention to a real 
environmental quality, health, problem in the area  It is the bears!  Bears 
are actually defecating in our woods.  I definitely believe you should be 
persecuting the defecating bears and leave the beavers alone.  If you are 
going to investigate the beaver dam, watch your dam step! The bears are not 
careful where they dump!

Being unable to comply with your dam request, and being unable to contact 
you on your dam answering machine, I am sending this response to your dam 
office.

THANK YOU,
RYAN DEVRIES & THE DAM BEAVERS








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