[SOC] Fw: Modern Technology

Thu May 13 14:22:43 EDT 2010

Subject: Modern Technology

Thought the SOC's could get a bit of humor out of this:

Remember this when you buy us "ole timers" these new things!!!!!!!!

I thought about  the 30 year business I ran with 1800 employees, all without 
a Blackberry  that played music, took videos, pictures and communicated with 
Facebook and Twitter.

I signed up  under duress for Twitter and Facebook, so my seven kids, their 
spouses, 13  grandkids and 2 great grand kids could communicate with me in 
the modern  way. I figured I could handle something as simple as Twitter 
with only 140  characters of space.

That was before  one of my grandkids hooked me up for Tweeter, Tweetree, 
Twhirl, Twitterfon,  Tweetie and Twittererific Tweetdeck, Twitpix and 
something that sends every  message to my cell phone and every other 
program within the texting  world.

My phone was  beeping every three minutes with the details of everything 
except the bowel  movements of the entire next generation. I am not ready to 
live like this. I  keep my cell phone in the garage in my golf bag.

The kids bought  me a GPS for my last birthday because they say I get lost 
every now and then  going over to the grocery store or library. I keep that 
in a box under my  tool bench with the Blue tooth [it's red] phone I am 
supposed to use when I  drive. I wore it once and was standing in line at 
Barnes and Noble talking  to my wife as everyone in the nearest 50 yards was 
glaring at me. Seems I  have to take my hearing aid out to use it and I got 
a little  loud.

I mean the GPS  looked pretty smart on my dash board, but the lady inside 
was the most  annoying, rudest person I had run into in a long time. Every 
10 minutes, she  would sarcastically say, "Re-calc-ul-ating" You would think 
that she could  be nicer. It was like she could barely tolerate me. She 
would let go with a  deep sigh and then tell me to make a U-turn at the next 
light. Then when I  would make a right turn instead, it was not good.   When 
I get  really lost now, I call my wife and tell her the name of the cross 
streets  and while she is starting to develop the same tone as Gypsy, the 
GPS lady,  at least she loves me.

To be perfectly  frank, I am still trying to learn how to use the cordless 
phones in our  house. We have had them for 4 years, but I still haven't 
figured out how I  can lose three phones all at once and have run around 
digging under chair  cushions and checking bathrooms and the dirty laundry 
baskets when the phone  rings.

The world is  just getting too complex for me. They even mess me up every 
time I go to the  grocery store. You would think they could settle on 
something themselves but  this sudden "Paper or Plastic?" every time I check 
out just knocks me for a  loop. I bought some of those cloth reusable bags 
to avoid looking confused  but I never remember to take them in with me. 
Now I toss it  back to them. When they ask me, "Paper or Plastic?" I just 
say, "Doesn't  matter to me. I am bi-sacksual." Then it's their turn to 
stare at me with a  blank look.

I was recently asked if I tweet. I answered, No, but I do toot a lot."

de bob / wb9ukq

Subj: Modern Technology