[SOC] Fw: Heaviest Element Yet Discovered

[Michael Coslo]

Well, just so we know where we're at. We can have fun with this, and no one
will get booboo feelings.

Let's see here, since politics is fair game. There must be others to play
with.....

Q. How do you keep a Southern Baptist from drinking all your beer while on a
fishing trip?

A. Bring two Southern Baptists along. Then they'll not drink any.


Q. How do you tell a Republican from a Democrat?

A.  Look in a Bathroom stall, the Republicans have a wider stance



A liberal came upon a genie and said, "You're a genie. Can you grant me
three wishes?" The genie replied, "Yes, but only if you're feeling generous
enough to share your good fortune." The liberal said, "I'm a liberal. I'm
always happy to share." The genie said, "O.K., then, whatever you wish for,
I'll give every conservative in the country two of it. What's your first
wish?" "I would like a new sports car." "O.K., you've got it, and every
conservative in the country gets two sports cars. What's your second wish?"
"I'd like a million dollars." "O.K., you get a million dollars, every
conservative gets two million dollars. What's your third and final wish?"
"Well, I've always wanted to donate a kidney."

_____

A first grade teacher in the Midwest is explaining to her class that she is
a Republican and how nice it is that a new Republican president has taken
office. She asks her students to raise their hands if they, too, are
Republicans and support George Bush.  Everyone in class raises their hands
except one little girl.  "Mary," says the teacher with surprise, "why didn't
you raise your hand?"  Because I'm not a Republican," says Mary. "Well, what
are you?" asks the teacher.  "I'm a Democrat and proud of it," replies the
little girl.  The teacher cannot believe her ears. "My goodness, Mary, why
are you a Democrat?" she asks. "Well, my momma and papa are Democrats, so
I'm a Democrat, too."  "Well," says the teacher in an annoyed tone, "that's
no reason for you to be a Democrat. You don't always have to be like your
parents. What if your momma was a criminal and your papa was a criminal,
too, what would you be then?" Mary smiled. "Then we'd be Republicans."

_________

Just to give equal time......
______

Q: What's the difference between a Democrat and a catfish?
A: One is an ugly, scum sucking bottom-feeder and the other is a fish.

Q: Why did God create Democrats?
A: In order to make used car salesmen look good.

______

A Republican and a Democrat were walking down the street when they came to a
homeless person. The Republican gave the homeless person his business card
and told him to come to his business for a job. He then took twenty dollars
out of his pocket and gave it to the homeless person.

The Democrat was very impressed, and when they came to another homeless
person, he decided to help. He walked over to the homeless person and gave
him directions to the welfare office. He then reached into the Republican's
pocket and gave the homeless person fifty dollars.

Now you understand the difference between Republicans and Democrats
_________

A Democrat found a magic genie's lamp and rubbed it. The genie said, "I will
grant you one wish." He said, "I wish I were smarter". So the genie made him
a Republican.


On 3/8/10 11:54 AM, "w9ya" <w9ya at qrparci.net> wrote:

> Ehemmm.......
> 
> Guys (and gals) perhaps we need to remember that ALL humor is based on the
> 'less fortunate behavior' of others. ALL of it. SO there is NO WAY one can
> discern what or how to place political humor in its' "proper place". i.e.
> SOMEONE could easily be put off by it.
> 
> Suggestion; the next time **you** are 'put off' by some political humor
> remember that what is really happening is your values have been offended.
> Then take a deep breath and try to laugh. It will do you some good as humor
> IS truth looked at from a different angle.
> 
> Offa my soapbox......sorry for the intrusion.